Waiting on the Weather by Robin Janney

That blue dot is me! lol

Remember those days in our youth when snow days were fun? We didn't have to get up early, or if we did we got to go back to bed. Either way, we didn't have to go to school and we got to play in knee deep snow. (we have pictures of me as a young teen with snow above my knees - somewhere)

It's not so much fun when you're an adult and your road tests depends on the weather. As of right now my next retest is scheduled for 11 tomorrow morning...and there is a wintry storm beginning even as I type this. I've emailed briefly with the school's directer and he's told me all the variables that he's taking into consideration regarding tomorrow's test. Right now, it's a waiting game.

Judging from the radar and what they're predicting, I think the odds of my test being rescheduled are on the high side. On one hand, I want us all to be safe - and if DOT shuts the roads down or imposes a Commercial Vehicle ban it'll be out of our hands anyway. On the other hand, I had a pretty good road drive yesterday with more good shifts and turns than bad. AND I'm still overflowing with confidence because of my solo road trip to Michigan and back again.

Mr. Janney had a few days off because his trainer did, and because the trainer lives in Michigan and is taking his days off there, that's where hubby's days off are. Over 500 miles one way and I did it all by myself.

I know that might sound strange from someone who is working on getting her CDL and becoming an over the road trucker. No doubt some of my troubles passing my road test stems from a lack of self confidence. I've always had a lack of confidence in myself, and this trip was a definite boost in that area. I was somewhat familiar with the first leg of the journey as it's the same way we took to visit my cousins in Indiana a few years ago. And 86 through NY is almost desolate for large stretches of the highway. It got interesting when the highways took me through Cleveland, Toledo, and Detroit. I just turned my music off so I could concentrate on the traffic and road signs, which my map GPS usually warned me about with enough advanced warning to move to the left or the right.

Which is when I got an idea on how to overcome my nerves with the road test examiner. I decided I was just going to pretend he's my GPS. I talk to her all the time traveling, saying 'thank you' and 'It would have been nice to know about that a mile ago' even though she's pre-programmed and can't respond. One of the things we have to do during a road test, is to give a hazard commentary. We have to call out hazards we see...or potential hazards. Things like speed limits and bridge heights.

I did run into some mild wintry weather on the way back from Michigan. Snow mixing with sunshine outside and through Cleveland. It was pretty and a  bit mesmerizing to see the high rise buildings through the bright snow. I wish I could have taken a picture of it. But since I was the one driving, I did my best to drink it in. Of course, here at home I can just stick my head out my door and take a picture of the falling snow. Each area has it's own beauty. I enjoy the country as much as the city. Of course, if you know me at all, you know I prefer the beach over both...especially over snow.

On 86, there was more steady snowfall with a bit sticking to the road. Not a lot, but enough I cut my speed. And felt like I was in danger of being hypnotized by the snow. Which was sometimes illuminated by the full moon. Which was even cooler than snow and sunshine. The night almost seemed to glow around me as I drove. I was talking with Mr. Janney on this leg of the trip and it was nice to have that company. I'm so glad we had a large enough tax refund to buy him a cellphone for his job. I know I could have spent that money on needed bills, but he is reaching the part of his training where the cellphone was going to be a necessity.

I'm going to wrap this up now. I have to get on top of the things I need to do today before the day is over and this blog post is my only achievement. It would be so easy to just binge watch Blue Blood reruns, or pop in the latest DVR recording of I Am the Night and just waste the day away, but I'm going to save that delight for later. And I really do have a few chores I need to knock out of the way before I get back to writing Book 3!

You know me, I'll keep everyone updated on the status of the test.

Have a great day everyone! Stay safe!

Do - or Do Not...Try, Try Again? by Robin Janney

Wait - I thought only Sith believed in absolutes?!?!

Not the most catchy of titles I guess, so it may change. We'll see.

I put off posting because I was hoping to post how I had passed my CDL road test and would be starting my training next week. Sadly, I didn't pass.

Again.

This is failure number four. I keep making different mistakes, so there's that much I guess. It's not like I'm not learning from them. And I no longer know if the failings are justified or if the examiner is being too picky like my teacher claim. Even my husband has suggested that the examiner is just looking for a reason to fail me because of my gender. I mean, how can I impede traffic on a double lane when my tractor is only just breaking the white line?

Because that's what failed me this time. I was demonstrating the emergency stop and failed to put my shifting splitter down so that when I tried moving again, my gear was too high and I stalled my rig. And because that front corner had begun to breach the lane, I was "impeding traffic" which is an automatic failure. Even though I was reentering a double lane highway, and there was nothing approaching in my lane anyway - otherwise I wouldn't have tried moving) but...I did neglect to double-check my splitter, so ... Mr. Too-Picky or not, it's still my own fault right?

I am really struggling with this. There are so many people who have faith in me, whether it is the teachers who've ridden with me (I've NEVER stalled the rig before...) or my own husband who's waiting for me to pass so I can join him in driving. I'm terrified they're going to lose faith in me.

Mostly because I'm losing faith in myself. Even though I know I can safely drive a rig. I mean, I've done it so many times. For whatever reason, I can't seem to stop messing up during the exam. And I've even tried building a rapport with this examiner - who's tested me three different times now - in hopes that I can stop being nervous with him. I mean, he seems like a nice enough guy. He just wields the pen that determines my job and financial future - so, yeah, no pressure.

Maybe I need to wear my tiara to my next test
to channel my inner goddess? Fans of Lore Olympus
will understand that context best ;)

I know this mood will pass, that I'll dust myself off and try again. No matter what Yoda says - there has to be room for failure when you're learning new things, because like Nick said when he was still a teacher at the school, you learn from your failures. So I'm sitting here at my laptop, the third installment of my series open and ready to be worked on, listening to Imagine Dragons because they always sheer me up. Maybe eating some crappy sugar free chocolate. Thinking about making pot roast.

I haven't heard from the school today, so I'm going to guess they weren't able to squeeze me into the test schedule tomorrow. I knew it would take the planets aligning just right for that to happen, so I'm not too surprised. There's probably more cons than pros about that, I mean every extra day I'm not behind the wheel practicing the skills I've learned allows those skills to get rusty. Which increases my chance of failing once again.

How many failures can my spirit take? I'm already thinking about asking Mr. Janney how upset he'd be if I just call it quits. I'm not going to quit, but the thought is there. What happens if I fail two more times? Do I get another extension for my permit and keep on trying? Do I accept defeat and just ride along as a passenger with him once he's released from training? There are other things I could do to earn money while riding along.

But - for all the people I know who have faith in me, I know there are those who don't think I can do this. And that has always been a catalyst for me. I have to prove them wrong. I've done it at the last three jobs I've worked, and even in the relationship that's lasted over ten years now.

So, as I said, today's mood will pass and I know I'll keep tying. The last I talked with Mr. Janney, he and his trainer were waiting on a load to be finished somewhere outside of Chicago so they could take it to Columbus, Ohio. So far, he has been in Nebraska, Texas, Mississippi, and Wisconsin. And all the states in between! He says they mostly take toll roads, which makes sense.

Alrighty then. I'll wrap up this pity party and start getting back on track. I'll leave you with this delightful Imagine Dragons video:

I've Been Drinking About You

Bottoms up!

This week’s blog is about craft beers. You read that correctly. This vocal wine-drinking writer has jumped ship, so to speak, and discovered craft beers. Mind you, I still love pairing wine with food. The only time I considered pairing beer with food was when I had pizza. The two just go together. Always. However, craft beers have changed the entire food pairing game for me. The nuances between varieties and brands are singly extraordinary. May I also be so bold as to say that, once you try craft beers, you can never go back to "corporate beers" again? I guess I just did.

My college girl daughter and I have been trying different regional brews for a few months now. I guess you can call us late bloomers in the craft beer world. She just turned 21 in November 2017, so my partner in crime and I have an excuse for our tardiness. It has been nice having this mother and daughter hobby tasting thing going on between us.

According to Brewbound, there are over 7,000 breweries in America in 2018 and the number of permits for future breweries opening are climbing. Don’t call craft beers a hipster trend. They aren’t. It’s clearly an American trend. During our tasting trips, we've see a wide demographics partaking; Traditionals, Boomers, Gen X, and Millennials that also includes all genders. Just like wines, there are many different brews to appeal to all palette types. Within the Southern Tier of New York and Northern Tier of Pennsylvania, we have a few of these microbreweries and you will find brew masters just as passionate about their beer making as a winemaker is about their wines. They will go into detail with you about hops, grains, yeast, and water as well as IBU’s, SRM’s, and ABV’s as they discuss a brew. These brew masters want you to understand the scientific process of it so you have a better appreciation for what it takes to make a great beer. We have tasted IPA’s, Stouts, Ambers, Pilsners, Porters, and on and on. Some with finishes of chocolate, fruit, nuts, or coffee and on and on. So many great brews to try and each one layered and unique with variations between batches—just like wines. Lordy!

So here I am. Foodie. Wine AND craft beer drinker. Living in easy driving distance to a great farm-to-table region with outstanding wineries and breweries around the Finger Lakes. The culinary trifecta. The Holy Trinity for taste buds. A hat trick of epicurean goodness. We seriously have it all in our neck of the woods. Does it get any better?!? I suppose finding a healthy balance would be advised. Practice. Practice. Practice.

A cause we could get behind! 

Favorite Brews:

n From War Horse Brewing Company: (Three Brothers Wineries & Estates): Nitro Breakfast With Churchill, The Big Broadcast Double IPA, Eisenhower Spice Cake, Royal Kilt Inspector, Rolling Storm Oktoberfest, and The Comet Line. They have amazing hard ciders, too!  

n  From Diversion Brewing Company: Cereal Killer, Deck the Hall & Oats, East Coast Roast, Sierra’s Missed.

n  From Horseheads Brewing Company: Brickyard Red, Pumpkin Ale

n  From Upstate Brewing Company: Mole Stout, Honey Porter, and Common Sense.  

n  From Empire Brewing Company: White Afro

Three Brothers Wineries & Estates' War Horse Brewing Company

By far, our favorite brewery to visit is War Horse Brewing Company in Geneva, NY. Along with great craft beers, it is situated on an estate vineyard and uses historical figures or events as its theme. Lots to see and do for hours of tasting fun plus they have a café so you can really make a day of it—or at least have an extended lunch. The staff is incredible. All of them are friendly, knowledgeable, and there to make sure you have a wonderful visiting experience. They also offer award-winning wines from dry to sweet. I highly recommend sampling their delicious Zweigelt Cabernet Sauvignon blend. You won’t be sorry!

Until next time, BOAF readers, may your pint glasses never be empty! 

What's in Front of You by Robin Janney

I don't know why I try to take pictures while riding in a vehicle. I mean, it's not even a 50/50 chance of getting a good shot. But I insist on trying anyway.

This photo was taken last Wednesday as we were returning home after all our appointments. I like water pics, and the river was so icy and cold looking, I tried even though I could see the cellphone was having trouble focusing. I thought I had it and pressed the screen, only to have the focus shift at the last second. I almost deleted the picture in frustration, but decided not to. Because I think it's a cool picture anyway. The background is all out of focus, but what is in focus are the water droplets right in front of me.

When my anxiety is high, I can't focus on anything. I can't get my ducks in a row because they're bouncing around like balls in a pinball game. All of them, all at once. It's frustrating, and only makes the anxiety worse.

Since I am unwilling to add one more medication to my long list of meds that I already take, I find myself resorting to other methods to try and corral those bouncing balls. The one thing I've found that is free (wine costs money, you know) is something called Mindful Meditation.

I'm not even sure if I'm doing it 'right', but it's enough to help. All I do, is force myself to focus on what is in front of me. There were times in the past, at previous jobs, where my insides where bouncing around so bad that I had my mind walk myself through the steps of my task at hand. It was enough to get me through the shift and usually the anxiety had passed. Until the next day, but that was probably because I was tired of working in the cold and a lot of the anxiety I was experiencing stemmed from that fact.

I have tried the traditional methods of meditating and praying. I've even tried yoga. Anything that puts me down on the floor, puts me on the same level as my dog and Jaclyn never fails to let me know it. I love her, but the best way she helps me with  my anxiety is to snuggle in my lap...her being in my face is just not as cute. Aside from snuggling with the 8-year-old pup, focusing on the moment and the next thing to do is what I have found to work best for myself. Do you struggle with anxiety? If so, how do you deal with it?

Speaking on 'the next thing to do', since I now have water back (idk if it was frozen or what) the next thing to do is switch the dishes around and do a load. Or take a shower. I'll flip a coin. I've tried taking a shower while the dishwasher runs...it turns out to be very chilly!!

Until next time, leave a comment if you'd like.

(I'm going to send this post over at A Novel Idea too.)

Long Time, No See!

Robin Janney – Author sent me a plea this past week: “Would you be willing to start posting on Broads again?” I reluctantly said I’d try. Perhaps this will be the start of us taking turns posting weekly blogs. Who knows? At any rate, here I am. I even told Robin I didn’t know what to blog about and she suggested I should start with my recent stint at detoxing from social media. Okay.

Can't we all just get along?
Photo from Google Images

Self-admittedly, I am a Facebook addict. As a stay-at-home-mom/writer(or non-writer)/photographer/volunteer, I have a lot of down time or, as reality set in, lazy time. This became vividly clear when I consulted the time monitoring tool Facebook has within your settings. During the week of January 6^th, I had averaged a little over six hours a day on Facebook. Six Hours! It was startling. With this revelation also came the realization that my time on social media wasn’t really enjoyable anymore. Don’t get me wrong. I loved keeping in touch with friends and relatives; seeing pics and having virtual visits. What I wasn’t enjoying was the arguing and ugliness that has come to a head since the 2016 political campaigns kicked into gear in 2015. Mind you, civility has been on a general decline since the inception of social media, but this past election cycle certainly made it hit a crescendo. Some of the most innocent posts could be made and someone on your friends list would snap and attack—off topic and relentless. Never mind the posts of those belonging to a polar opposite ideological nature. Some of the comments I read on friend's or relative’s posts were outright hostile—vile even. Civility is gone. No longer is polite debate used. “Your statement is dumb. You’re dumb. Everyone who thinks like you is dumb. I hope something miserable happens to you so you realize this.” Ugh. I see a person’s Facebook page as their own space for expressing themselves. It’s personal. If they post something you don’t like, scroll by. Or unfollow. Or unfriend. Hell, block them if you feel so strongly. Simple. Instead, some use this as an opportunity to attack. I was often left wondering why some of these people were even friends. Seriously. It boggles the mind. So it is simple, if you can’t be civil, be gone. Think of your Facebook wall as your personal living room, so to speak. Would you allow this same person to come into your home, sit in your living room, and speak to you in that same manner? I sincerely hope your answer is no. Likewise, I would hope you don’t make a practice of entering a friend’s or relative’s home and committing this same act. It’s uncivil. It’s nasty. It’s upsetting. Who needs the stress? Don’t get me started on public account posts like a news station or public figure. I found my blood pressure rising as I read comments. Again, FRIENDLY debate is one thing, attacking is another. I don’t need that in my life. 

Because there is always a heckler who will disagree.
Photo from Google Images

My detox began a week ago today. I researched how to save my photos and videos from my Facebook account because I really didn’t want to lose them. The social media company has a way to convert your property to an HTML file and can be uploaded to the device of your choice. The whole process, including saving to my laptop, took less than an hour. At that point, I opted to start with deactivating my Facebook account. Mind you, my Messenger app is still working. Deleting my account may come later. Right now, I don’t want to do anything permanent. As an independent author, I used social media to market my eBooks. In fact, social media SOLD my eBooks.  

With my newfound “free time”, I have been able to do many projects around the house that I have been putting off for fear of missing my social media time. I have many more projects to do. It’s amazing how much one can accomplish in a day when they aren’t wasting time scrolling. I also got back into a healthier lifestyle routine again after a three year break. I have almost gained back all of the weight I had lost from 2012 through 2015. (A lot of that from stress eating and inactivity that came after my youngest daughter’s brain lesion discovery and the numerous opinions, follow-up appointments, and general stress that comes with such a diagnosis. As of May 2018, the lesion is still stable and unchanged.) I’m counting calories, eating healthier, and resumed daily exercise through walking at a pace of 3mph. I walked 20.34 miles over six days. It is uncanny how quickly your general outlook changes just from leaving social media. My mood is more positive. I have more energy AND I’m getting shit done. I am starting to feel more optimistic about my writing projects and hope to return to a regular writing schedule. I think one more week, as the social media toxins leave my psyche, and my creative side should return.

I hope all of our Broads of a Feather readers have been well and are ready for Team Robin Janney – Author and C.P. Stringham – Author to blog with regularity once again!

The Road Goes Ever On and On by Robin Janney

The road goes ever on and on...

And sometimes there's road construction, detours, and unexplained delays!

Well, the good news first! Mr. Janney has successfully passed his CDL road test. The bad news to that is: I didn't and I have to start the process over! He gets to "Pass Go and collect $200" and I don't! Such is life, I guess.

I am disappointed in myself for failing, because I know this is something I can do. All my instructors at school agree with me. Some of it has been nerves, and some of this last failure is because I was just out of practice driving the big rig. I wasn't able to afford a refresher drive before this last test. Even though I drove part of the way down to the test sight, it just wasn't enough. But part of the reason why we fail is so we can learn from our mistakes.

But I am tickled pink that Mr. Janney has passed! I'm proud of him. This was his idea in the first place, something we'd talked about on and off for a while. We tried a year ago to apply to a truck driving school, but it didn't work out. By then the die was cast because he'd already quit his job. So we fell to Plan B. We'd continue as is until my surgeries were out of the way and try again. One thing led to another which in turn led us to the school we attended together and a job together.

Obviously, we won't be starting at the same time. But we were both talking with the recruiter last night and it won't be a problem. Mr. Janney will be through his training and running solo until I can join him, simple as that. It's not what we had planned, not even for Plan B...but sometimes in life you have to go through the entire alphabet to find what works! You just have to keep trying and not give up.

Easier said than done sometimes, I know. You know I know.

I'm a little anxious, but then I'd have been that way even if I'd passed and we were starting at the same time! I'll just use the late start to my part of the adventure to wind up my editing and reworking of my first two novels and continue to work book three. I know it's been forever for my fans, but it was the decision to make these changes which unlocked my writer's block and enabled me to work on book three again.

Though I can't see what's beyond the curve,
 I know the best thing is to keep on going.

As anxious as I am, I'm also excited. Because even though it's just one of us who's passed, we're still in this together. We're one step closer than we were before. I will take you all on this life's trip as much as possible. It's what I do, and why I have no problem posting about my failure and down times online. You get the good, the bad and everything in-between when I write here. Any silences are when I'm trying to process the bad and the down times...the only thing I can do. I hope you'll all stay with me on this journey.

Until next time, much love.

Here We Are Again by Robin Janney

The candle holder says 'Dream'
A gift from my mother.

Here we are again. At the end of a year and at the cusp of a new one. A time to reflect on the past year, and a time to look forward with hope.

We've completed one more circle around that brilliant yellow orb in the sky and what do we have to show for it? A few more pounds, perhaps. Fewer dollars. But life goes on, right?

It most certainly does.

This past year has been a hard one for me emotionally. I gave up on my dreams of having my own children when I had my surgery back in March. While it was medically needed, it was still a hard thing for me to deal with. The finality of it all...coupled with the knowledge that even without the surgery, pregnancy was never going to happen for me...was a bitter pill to swallow. Mr. Janney and I have not ruled out adoption, but if we do it is a someday issue. Most likely we will remain that crazy aunt and uncle.

It has been a year of uncertainty as we struggled with jobs that ended at the 'wrong time' and schooling that didn't start at the 'right time'. But - we still have a roof over our head, and food on the table, so things aren't as bad as they've felt. I mean hey - Thanos snapped his fingers and we didn't disappear, so things can't be that bad, right?

The future is even more uncertain. Mr. Janney and I have our road retest January 3rd (we failed that part a few weeks ago). We're both feeling confident that this time we'll pass. We each failed some of our permit tests the first time around, and then nailed them the second time around. Like I told my 'doppelganger' Robyn at Sage - our timing has been 'off' all year, but it seems to be working out so, hey - there must be a reason. We're just going with the flow at the moment.

So, I've been using the time until then to work on my novels. My final edit of the revised Farmer's Daughter is complete and I just need to implement the corrections. Ring of Fire will be right behind it. Then I can pour everything into Bigger Than the Beetles. And try to decide whether I have enough ideas for a 6th novel in the series based on a dream I had the other night. We'll see. (If I do, it'll be called 'Full Dragon')

Sometimes I worry that I write too long of a story. My word counts come in near to the same length as Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring....yes, I've googled this. At least I am nowhere near the word count of Eye of the World or any of Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time novels...I'm not sure I'd have any kind of fan base if I did that. Well, it's only one person who has complained about the length of the story and it's a person whose opinion I value so it's a bit of a struggle sometimes. On the other hand, I think it would make a great tv series, so there's that much.

I guess, better wrap this up for now. Just checking in with you all to remind you I'm still working at my stories amid life's uncertainty. I hope you've all had a pleasant enough holiday season and that it wraps up without incident next week as the current year blends into the new one.

Stay safe and much love!