Book 3 Coming Someday by Robin Janney

I started this post a looooooong time ago. I was struggling with blog post ideas, so one night I tossed a line out in three different platforms  inviting people to give me subjects they'd like to read about or to ask me a question that I'd answer through a blog post. I received one question, thru the Broads of a Feather Facebook page, which is why this post is going up here instead of my own blog. The question was when am I going to release the third book in my series, so in theory I could have answered on either blog. So I'm just going to go through this post, do some edits and then publish.

 

I know it's been a while since book 2, Ring of Fire was released, but since I was unsure exactly how long, I took a peak on the KDP dashboard. This past November marked 3 years since the release of Ring.

I love taking pictures of random plants against water.

 

Ugh.

 

3 years.

 

Not what I had planned, that's for certain. As I recall, I actually had a fairly good start on book 3 when Ring of Fire was published.

 

So what the heck have I been up to instead of writing?

 

There is no easy answer to that. It's multifaceted. I mean, even on a good day, the creative process is finicky and cyclic.

Looking back over some older blog posts to refresh my memory as to what's been going on the past few years was interesting. There have been a few life events that interfered with my creative flow. There were a few health issues, both mine and my husband's. There was our almost homelessness; we were seriously $300 shy from losing it all. There were job changes, first Mr. Janney's then my own as I followed him. This resulted in a changed schedule and some longer hours which equals exhaustion. There was some traveling involved as finances improved, just so you know it wasn't all bad!

But, I think underlying all these things, the bad and the good, has been depression.

While depression is a wonderful side benefit of all my health issues, both the diabetes and the underactive thyroid, it is something I have battled for as long as I can remember. And I can remember a ways back. Like knocking the car into reverse and it rolling down the driveway when I was a toddler, probably about 3ish. So yeah, it's been a part of my life for a long time.

How much of it was chemical driven even then, I don't know. I suspect my endocrine system was malfunctioning long before I was diagnosed with an underactive thyroid, especially since mine is caused by an autoimmune disorder. But for how long...there really is no telling. A few months ago, I started a birth control pill to help manage the monthly turmoil... and while its not positively effecting that, it did alleviate some depression. Until this January, which you can read about over at my own blog.

One thing I noticed years ago, is that I have a hard time being creative when I am depressed. The deeper the depression, the less I can write anything...whether it is poetry or fiction. It's always frustrated me, because I know that if I can just write, then the depression won't be so bad. It's always been frustrating when everything is going fine and I'm depressed, part of my mind is just like... 'What is your problem? You don't have anything to depressed about!'  That's the part of the brain that has been conditioned to believe depression is a solely emotional response to outside stimuli and not the result of a chemical imbalance.

It is a mental illness that I have most likely inherited, right alongside the physical illnesses. And just like the physical, sometimes I can manage it and sometimes it likes to do it's own thing. A few doctor visits ago, my thyroid numbers were good, but not the diabetes numbers so my doctor has added an additional medicine to the plethora I already take. And sine the original beginning of this post, I no longer take this new pill... one of the side effects was causing more irritation than it was worth so I was switched to a once weekly injection for the diabetes.

I used to take an over the counter supplement for my depression, which I believed was enough to take the edge of the depression. It has not been in the budget for the past several months however, and I noticed no discernible difference. That kind of concerns me, tells me that the supplement probably wasn't doing as much as I thought, especially since the birth control pill I mentioned earlier does more. I probably ought to talk to one of my doctors about getting on a prescription med, one that would treat both depression and anxiety (yeah, I have that too), but I already feel like my life revolves around my medicines.

I mean, Sheesh. Look at that picture. The top three are optional, vitamins and ibuprofen (which really isn't optional as without it I am in a great deal of pain...) that I take to temper the chronic joint pain I live with (thank you thyroid). Everything else is prescription meds for my various issues. Only one is a temporary antibiotic. Two are for the thyroid itself, my dose is so high it takes more than one pill to meet it!

That alone is enough to depress a person I think.

If I continue to lose weight, I may be able to eliminate or reduce a few of them (15-20lbs so far) but the thyroid issue will never go away. And even if I manage the diabetes well enough to reduce my meds, it will always be something I'll have to guard against. But I am determined to make that happen.

I am leaving the following paragraph, even though the depression is full blown at this time.  It's weird. Right now as I'm writing, I can feel the low of depression. I'm not sad. As many people who deal with depression will tell you, depression does NOT equal sadness. I can actually be quite happy and still feel that low under it. I've even thought of myself as one of the happiest functioning depressives you'll ever meet, even though I know I'm not THAT unique. I've read enough to know that I'm not alone. And actually right now I'm more tired than happy or sad. I've had a headache most of the weekend and for whatever reason it's been exhausting.

But, that said, I plan on working on the novel when I'm done here. My brain has been on a creative drive ever since my laptop died (go figure) although now I'm wondering if it has to do with being off my depression supplement. That's a something I'd rather not examine too closely!

I don't have a date for any of you. I did want to have it done before the end of 2017, but that clearly didn't happen. So my new goal is before the end of this year. I wish I could do better for my fans, but I know how quickly life can throw curveballs at you so I'd rather not get any more specific than that for a deadline. That's one of the advantages of being your own boss I guess...even if it is a disadvantage at the same time. I mean, no new book, no new sales, etc.

That's the best answer I have right now.

And even today, it is still the best answer I have. I can tell you that I did work on my novel, Bigger than the Beetles, after my original ending to this post. I may not be able to fix my laptop, I've had it back twice and it has collapsed both times, but I can and do work on it on my tablet. It's not my favorite way to write, but it beats not writing at all. If you've read my other blog post, you know that my life is in a bit of turmoil. I know that I shall weather it, I just don't know the effect it will have on my writing career.

I seem to have reached a point where I can blog about it, so perhaps it will all be fine. Perhaps I shall be back here again soon. One can only hope :)

The Complexity of Writer's Block by Robin Janney

Curiosity - why cats need nine lives...

One of my strengths, which all too often doubles as a weakness, is my curiosity.

Especially when it comes to reading comments on a Facebook post.  There is so much unneeded negativity out there and people feel the need to share it.

There was one day at the end of January that I spotted a Facebook ad for 212 blog ideas for those people who get stumped coming up with an endless supply of ideas to blog about.  It was a download I had already gotten myself, and I was curious what other people were saying in the comments, what they thought of the bulky download which was prefaced by a long winded video we had to watch before we could actually get it.  This was actually a BIG mistake.

I'm not going to quote any of those nasty comments, but the general gist was that either Writer's Block doesn't exist, or if it does and you have/had it...then you're not a real writer.  And if you have trouble coming up with blog ideas, then you shouldn't have a blog.

And maybe if you don't have anything nice to say/comment...then keep your mouth shut?

See, the thing is - I know I'm a real writer, I've been writing one thing or another since the fourth grade.  And I've had my fair share of struggles with Writer's Block.  So yeah, I get a little pissy if you try telling me I'm not a real writer because I've struggled while looking at a blank page or computer screen.

I'm not an expert in any of this, I discover daily just how much of an amateur I am.  I can only tell you my story.  Because that's what I do, I'm a storyteller.

My writing largely started out in the area of fanfiction.  I remember trying to write an Airwolf story in fourth grade; talk about overly ambitious!  Although not nearly as ambitious as the Star Wars novel I wrote in high school!  Fanfiction writing continued all throughout middle school and high school, but I had tons of other story ideas that I would write down in notebooks for 'later'.  Lord only knows what happened to them!

I wrote my first novel, originally titled 'Dominions of Darkness' across the span of about six or seven years.  It took so long because in the early days I let a church friend read some of my draft and I got mixed reviews.  No one wants to hear, "It's good...BUT..."  She was right in saying I had to decide who my desired audience was, although that's not how she put it.  I eventually decided that writing for one genre was overrated, but at the time I was discouraged because I knew the story I had in my head wouldn't be considered "proper" Christian fiction, which is what I was being encouraged to write.  While I was discouraged and put it away, I worked on other projects that may yet see publication.  Obviously, I did finish my story, at least the first draft of it.  I remember writing furiously on the church computer trying to get it done before the service started.

What every writer does with the madness beating at their brains...

Even more the amateur then, I wrote "THE END" when I was done...and felt a door close.  What now?  I asked myself.  Do I submit it to publishing houses and start working on the sequel?  It needed a sequel since I had ended it as a cliffhanger.  Which one?  More than one?  As I began to look into who I could send it to, I tried working on the sequel...only to find that it wouldn't come together.  The harder I tried, the less it wanted to cooperate with me.  I even tried working on my Journey series, and that didn't help.  I just recently found those old drafts, although I haven't gone through them yet to see if there is anything I can use.

So I shelved it.  I emailed myself a copy of my draft for back up, which given how floppies are old news now it was a good thing I did.  I tried blogging, but as life distracted me more and more I did that less and less.  I ended up moving back home with my mother and company, which was interesting as I was working nigh shift and everyone else in the house was decidedly day shift.  I was tired all the time and had no interest in writing anything other than the odd poem.  And most of the time, I couldn't even whip one of those up.

There was nothing there.  No pictures.  No conversations with imaginary friends.  Not even piece of a jigsaw puzzle!  Apparently, I even wrote a poem about it, which you can read here.  Looking back now, I realize I needed to live a little and have different life experiences.  For all that I was writing my own story idea, in a sense, I was writing to please other people.  And I needed to lose that drive to please other people when it comes to my writing (although my mother's opinions still scares the living daylights outa me, but that's a different matter all together!)

I switched from part time jobs to a full time one, on night shift - which was only part of the 'always tired' problem I developed.  I had a failed romance, or what I thought was a romance at the time.  It was the most I had experienced at the time.  As I said above, I gave up my apartment and moved back in with my mother for a time.  I found true love and moved again.

Somewhere in the midst of that, I found the self confidence I needed to write without hindrances.   I'll be honest, a lot of it had to do with the unconditional acceptance I had found in the workplace and also from the man who would become my husband.  Because one day, when we had a good computer - well, good enough for me - I downloaded my story from long ago and gave it a read through.  And I thought, "You know, this is pretty good.  I don't like the ending, and some of it needs to be rewritten, but it's a good story just the same."

I sent the draft I had to a friend for a second opinion and while she was reading it, I thought, "I wonder what I can do differently...what if...???" and unwittingly reopened the dam in my head.  Images flooded my imagination like a movie on fast forward.  They were almost tripping over each other.  It was awesome, a runner's high, invincibility ran through my veins, I could write no wrong...I did, lots of typos but that's after...when the high leveled out and I had to edit.

Two books later and I find myself in a similar spot.  I have no desire to write, the images are faded at the moment anyway.  In part it it an overload of life stress...I'm only working part time, my husband not at all, both due to medical restrictions, which of course leads to financial strain (we've already had our car taken away, but not our truck because that's ours); no doctor wants to do surgery on me until I've lost weight and because I'm limited in my physical activity it has to be mainly through what I eat - which food is my drug, an addiction I have to get under control.  It's crazy I tell you!  And of course, this all contributes to depression, which in and of itself sucks creativity away like a hungry vampire.

I found several good pages of advice and quotes while searching this out.  This article with advice from other writers was a good one, with different advice from each one.  Because what works for one, might not work for another.  We are all different, unique individuals, no matter how much we all love to write.  And this article shows that we are in good company!  Fellow writers who've dealt with writer's block themselves.  While I can't always follow all this advice on "Blogger's Block", there are some good ones in here.  I mean, I can't drink coffee too late in the day anymore!  Another blogger I enjoy following and chatting with as allowed, MJ Bush did  her own article on it here.

I started this post months ago.  I started, stopped...started again, had to stop again.  Sometimes what you're writing is just being written at the wrong time.  You're brain needs to focus on something else, or it just needs to rest.  My advice, which I know from experience is hard to head, is; don't sweat it.  Writer's Block will break eventually.  Experiment with some of the advice in the articles above...go for a walk, drink a coffee, go to a party or a park and people watch...find what works for you even if it takes time.  Even Google "You should be writing" and pic an image of the actor that most inspires your romance writing!

Whatever it takes.

And never doubt that you're a real writer.  No matter what anyone tells you.

Frustration by Robin Janney

Since CP posted so late, I meant to give a few days before writing and posting my own...and here it is Saturday night and everything I've tried to write for the post I wanted to do just is not coming together.  It is more than a little frustrating.

I don't know if it's because I'm tired, which makes little sense since I slept late this morning.  Or perhaps I've just had a full day anyway and it's time to wind down.

Mr. Janney and I spend the afternoon with his parents.  He helped his father load firewood and I took my mother-in-law to Walmart so she could pick up her parents' prescriptions.  Then we all went to her parents to deliver the meds and the firewood.  It was a good visit all the way around.  Then we came home, ran the neighbors to the nearest convenience store, ran to the grocery store so I could try a recipe Grandma Jean shared with us and then came home.  I was not impressed with how the recipe turned out, but Mr. Janney polished it off so it couldn't have been too bad.

He's playing his GTA 5 at the moment, as usual, although his partner in crime isn't on.  I sit here at my computer trying to throw my thoughts about Mary Sue characters and how she's gotten a bad rap and for whatever reason it's not coming together tonight.

Even this short blog is giving me grief!

So I'm going to save us all from a terrible blogpost and just say goodnight, Live Long and Prosper and maybe I'll have better luck next time around.

Is this what Star Trek meets Touched by an Angel would look like?