20 years and Then Some by Robin Janney

Time flies when you're living life.  It also flies when you're on RuneScape trying to catch your levels up to your husband's, but that's a different post.

And as we all know, life doesn't even have to be all fun and games for time to slip away from you like sand through your fingers.  Life in general will steal away the years faster than you think. You graduate from high school and either head off to college or jump feet first into the working world.  Bills start coming in, no matter your choice.  Expenses for either college or job start piling up.  Some of us get married and have a family, others don't.  Friendships change, growing deeper or ending.  Some of us die.

All this musing because this summer my graduating class celebrated 20 years out of high school.

Did I just say - 20 years?

No, no, no!  How did that many years pass so quickly?

Some things never change!
L-R: Teresa Herman Allen, Ryan Allen, Mike Zaffrey, and myself

I'm going to be honest.  I don't have a lot of happy memories of school.  I was often teased and bullied.  A subject that came up much to my surprise with one of my classmates that night.  Speaking of me and my siblings about the bus rides to and from school, he said, "You all went through hell every single day."  Yes, we did.  It was a bit of a shock to hear one of my peers acknowledge this, especially since he was one of the ones on the other end of it.  I started too many school days off in tears, and many ended the same.  Even to this day, a little piece of me starts seizing up when I think back to those days.  Which explains why my side of the conversation probably was a bit on the terse side.  I didn't know what to say really.  A lot of the memories have blurred over, but it doesn't take all the sting away.  But that's all it is anymore, a bit of a sting.  A tiny thing in the great scheme of life.

But as I looked around at my classmates, I felt a level of acceptance I'd never felt before. Maybe because I've finally accepted myself, or maybe just the passage of time.  The reason why doesn't really matter.  I had warm fuzzies and I wasn't even drinking alcohol! (I had to drive.)  It was so much fun seeing faces that hadn't changed all that much, while trying to figure out the ones who looked nothing like they did all those years ago.  There was laughter and dancing (curse my aching foot!!)

But I do have some good memories.

How is this the best pic I got of Jennifer Turner Kelly?
She's the one right behind the centerpiece.

In eleventh grade, the main dance was the Prom.  It was the only one we would get as we did something different in our senior year.  I'm not sure whose idea this was, but as far as I know it is still the same in our old alma mater.  Now I came from a financially challenged family.  I wasn't sure if I would be able to go because I lacked funds for a dress.  One day, it must have been late winter or early spring one of my classmates told me that she had an extra dress for prom and I could borrow it for the night if I wanted to.

So one night I rode the bus out to Jen's home and tried it on.  Being a large girl, trying things on was a must.  It was a little tight, but I decided that if I lost a few pounds between then and Prom, then it would work.  I don't remember the details of the food dieting I must have done, but I do remember walking.  Faithfully, every day.  I'd walk 30 minutes in one direction then turn around and walk back to my departure point.  Needless to say, I achieved my goal and wore my borrowed dress to the Prom and had a good night.  Although I miraculously needed to go to the bathroom when they started playing the chicken  dance.  I've always been grateful for her willingness to share.

Johndee Perry and Mike Zaffrey

And then there was the time in middle school - oh my God now we're talking about lots more than 20 years.  Anyway, in gym class we always had to do certain exercises and have them timed or counted or both.  I forget what they were called, probably the Physical Fitness Test.

Needless to say, I struggled with every test.  I always gave it my best, but my best was never good enough.  I was too heavy and apparently I didn't play outside enough and just didn't have the stamina.

Well, this one year in middle school, I ended up with my own personal cheerleader.  Mike got to sit out of the tests for some reason, but when it got down to the end and I was way behind and the last one running, Mike followed me around the parking lot cheering me on.  "Come on Robin, you can do it!  Keep running Robin."  He stayed with me by my side until I crossed the finish line.

I doubt Mike and I ever shared more than a few words throughout our entire schooling, before or after this event.  But I have never forgotten this act of encouragement.  We all need people in our lives who will stay with us and cheer us on when we're flagging.

Senior Class Trip 1994

Liz Teribury Watson

If you looked closely at the group picture above, in the front row you'll see the same girl on each end. The photo was taken with an old fashioned camera, which required the photographer to slowly sweep the camera from left to right.  He had this tradition for each picture he took for class trips like ours.  He liked to include one person twice.  When he gave the "GO", the person on the left end of the line was to dart behind the rest of the row to the other end.  Well, Liz must have zigged when she should have zagged because the first time we did it there was a shadow from her somewhere in the lineup.  She nailed it the second time.

Jeff Hurley and Matt Weaver

This picture to the right is quite possible my second favorite one from the night.  I had already snapped one of Jeff and Matt, but Jeff caught me and posed so I snapped again.  At one point in the evening Jeff encouraged me to switch side of the tables so I could take part in the conversation better because to him it felt like I was off sitting in my own little world.  I told him that was normal, and not much of a change from high school.  I do tend to live in my own little world...makes for some great creative writing, but can cause other interpersonal issues sometimes.  But I followed Jeff's advice and enjoyed myself even more.

Lynette Sterling, myself, Tonya Austin

Now this picture to the left is my favorite from the night, even though the lightning turned us into fuzzies.  Our smiles still shine right through!  I have no words for these two.  They make me smile, and I hope I return that favor.

It was a great night to remember.

Though we are separated by miles and sometimes death, we are still close at heart.  Greater memories are yet to come, Troy Class of 1994.

Okay, that's it for the mushy stuff.

The Very, Very, Very, Very, Very Unproductive Summer By C.P. Stringham

Top: 20th Century's Norma Rae starring Sallly Field
Bottom: My choice for writing solitude. 

Notice the amount of times “very” appears in the title? It isn’t a homage to the 1963 film It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. Nope. Each “very” represents how many weeks my children have been home for summer vacation. I love having them home. I truly do. We usually keep busy by taking day trips, but they really haven’t happened this year. Financially, we’re grounded from doing them. I had so many ideas about how we were spending our summer and it isn’t happening. For me, personally, I planned on getting my latest work-in-progress, Overcoming Sarah, finished and published by the end of July. Only that hasn’t happened either. I don’t know how other authors with children do it. I just don’t. How do they write while their children are home for summer vacation? It escapes me. Those on Twitter post that they maintain a specific writing time, sit down at their typical work area, and write. Their family knows they are working and have strict orders not to bother them unless the house is on fire or someone is knocked out or leaking great amounts of blood. That doesn’t fly in the Stringham household. My family doesn’t understand how hard it is to enter a productive writing mindset. They think I just sit down, fingers to keys, and write. If only it was that easy. I’ve touched on this in a previous Broads of a Feather blog post, but it’s worth repeating; writing is like having an out of body experience. I have to immerse myself into the character’s head, feel their emotions, and see their environment. I can only be interrupted so many times before creativity slips elusively away from me. I know. My complaint is pretty petty in light of the way things are in the world and the real problems others have. As you read this, you’re probably thinking out loud, “Whiny baby.” And I realize that’s how it sounds. I’m a stay-at-home mom and an indie author. My e-books help supplement our income so it is important I have time to write. Extra income is good for my family. As it is now, I’m so close to telling them, “I can’t work in these conditions!” while doing my best Norma Rae impression. Because of my unproductive summer, I now know why Thoreau slipped off to his cabin in the woods. It wasn’t to be one with nature. He “deliberately” wanted to be left alone. I even have a Pinterest board called My "Thoreau" Spaces. I fantasize about being alone all the time. Solitude. Quiet. Productivity. *sigh*

The worst offender in my family is my youngest. As some of you know, she has an Autism Spectrum Disorder. While she is considered high-functioning and perfectly fine on her own at the age of (almost) fifteen, she likes to pace the house—which includes the master bedroom and where I have my writing area. I can count on her to come in almost every seven minutes. Each time, she talks to me and concentration is lost. No. Not lost. Trampled on. I’ve tried to explain to her how important it is for her to pretend I’m not home. Her older sister’s around to watch her and help out if she needs anything. All I want is two to three measly hours of uninterrupted writing time each morning. That’s it. I hate having to remind her I’m working. Hurting her feelings isn’t worth my productivity. And then there are times of frustration when I almost grind my teeth into dust. For some reason, her normal hobbies aren’t keeping her busy. She works with an in-home, private tutor once a week so she doesn’t lose academic ground while school’s out. Since we live in a rural area, there aren’t any local day camps for special needs kids so she can get out for the day. As for classmates, she really doesn’t have many friends. On the rare occasions we’ve scheduled play dates, she loses interest two hours into it. It’s a sensory thing. She will leave her friend, find me, and say, “Is it time for them to go now? I’m ready for quiet.” Or, “They keep following me and won’t leave me alone.” Nothing like having your child go to their room, shutting the door on their guest, and me having to scramble to entertain them while my daughter isolates herself to decompress.

Alas, it is what it is. School resumes the last week of August. I’ll be able to settle back into my Monday through Friday writing routine. Since my first book, Seventy-Two Hours, came out in August of 2012, I have gotten to experience what it’s like having readers excitedly ask when my next book is coming out—even more so since I entered the world of book sequels. My Ellis Springs book series has been popular among my readers. One customer review likened the characters’ friendships to those in Steel Magnolias. Others talk about how much they like getting to visit with old friends each time a new installment comes out. And I like that. Before, I’d only experienced this type of devotion as a reader and having to wait for the next book in a series. I’ll admit to being impatient while waiting for Patricia Cornwell’s next Scarpetta book or Janet Evanovich’s next Stephanie Plum. I may or may not have even commented on Julia Spencer-Flemings’ readers’ page that I’d gladly go to her house in Maine to clean, cook, and drive her kids to and from activities so she could work on her next Millers Kill mystery. In a role-reversal, I’m getting to hear offers like this from my readers! I love their enthusiasm. And a little frightened by it. I’m in a daunting situation now. What if I take too long writing book four? What if I let them down by writing a hollow story just to get it done? In all honestly, a book series is a little overwhelming. I’d rather err on the side of literary caution; write with quality instead of quantity. I just want to write.

Sam Heughan as Jamie Fraser on the Starz TV series Outlander
based on the book series by Diana Gabaldon.

On the bright side of all of this, I have been finding time for reading. It doesn't require the same level of concentration as writing does. Thank God. I'm currently enthralled with Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series. Can't wait for the Starz TV series based on her books. I'm a little obsessed at the moment. If you haven't read the books, you really need to. I have a feeling the TV show is going to be "verra fine, Sassenach." If you need further convincing, let me just add: hot men in kilts. Need I say more??? 

How is your summer going? Have you taken any exciting trips? I’d love to hear about it so I can live vicariously through you.   

But I Don't Want to Grow Up!! By C.P. Stringham

My Best Friend and me.

My oldest is a high school junior. Not only do I love her because I’m her momma, but I love her for the young woman she has become. My husband and I really can’t take all of the credit for the end product we’re seeing. While we know a good upbringing, in a loving and supportive home, plays a role into creating a thoughtful, kind human being, so much also happens in the outside world to shape them as well. Situations they are placed in during the school day can have a large influence on who they will become. Let’s face it, as parents, we can’t be with our children to coach them on their decisions all the time. We need to have faith in their ability to choose right from wrong. Trust that the values and lessons we’ve instilled them with are used in the process.

I worked outside of the home when Syd was little. We were fortunate to have a wonderful private babysitter whose family loved her like she was one of their own. On my days off, I maximized every moment spent with her. She was this amazing sponge. I found that even while I worked on household chores, she was content being set up nearby with her toys or craft items and interacting with me. The sponge part comes into play because I could say almost anything to her and she’d retain it. By two years old, she could count to twenty in English, Spanish, and German. Learned her colors in English and Spanish. We sang together all the time. Itsy Bitsy Spider was her favorite. Syd spent most of her time around adults. Even when the opportunity to play with kids her own age came about, she usually abandoned them to hang out with the adults—although she was terribly shy. It took her forever to warm up to others. Instead of interacting with new acquaintances, she preferred observation. Her vocabulary was incredible and, at times, colorful.   

The first day of kindergarten was hard on both of us. I had to take her to Mr. Gorman’s classroom with her wrapped around my leg, limping along, while she screamed her head off, “No! No, Mommy! Don’t leave meeeeee!!” Gut-wrenching. I was crying as badly as she was. Thankfully, Mr. Gorman, a fresh-eyed new teacher, was kind, patient, and creative in getting her to come out of her shell. As she matriculated, my husband and I loved watching the evolution of our daughter The Student. Many say it takes a village to raise a child. I will go so far as saying it takes a school to raise a child. Syd has had many wonderful teachers. With some, it goes beyond the standard classroom lessons and special shout outs should go to Mrs. Sherwood, Mrs. Heffron, Mr. Nichols, Mr. Learn, Mrs. Stern, Mr. Hafer, Mrs. Stropko, Mrs. Silverstrim, and Mrs. Bustin. *I needed to add Ms. Duncan, Ms. Acla, Mrs. Hill, and Mr. Wakely--4/8/14* These select educators are the ones responsible for molding the young adult her father and I see today. Education is about more than jamming specific facts down a student’s throat for standardized testing regurgitation at a later date. It’s about amazing teachers selflessly giving 110% of their time to their students. Going that extra mile. Daily lessons can be fun, interesting, and inspiring. A teacher’s passion (or lack thereof) for their subject is infectious. They challenge, encourage participation and even want a good debate when appropriate. They know that valuable skills like organizing, prioritizing, self-motivating, and giving and receiving respect are just as crucial as reading, writing, and arithmetic.  A student’s success is their success and brings on a tremendous amount of pride. Syd keeps in touch with some of her past teachers since true friendships have developed.

L to R: Mrs. Stropko, Lesley (her BFF since Kindergarten,) and Syd dressed as famous women in history (Syd was Margaret Thatcher.) Seeing The Iron Lady. Being inducted into National Social Studies Honor Society. 

Syd has other amazing people in her “village” who have helped shape her. Obviously, there would be too many to go into detail, but I would be remiss to leave out a few from this blog post. Her godmother, Andrea, was present for her birth. As a labor and delivery nurse by profession, she served as more than just friend/godmother/coach. She assisted with bringing her into the world and her nurturing hand has been a constant in Syd’s life ever since. Syd’s honorary grandmother, Andrea’s mom, Inge, has been another dynamic force in her life. My friends, Michelle, Vivian, and Jennifer, fill in as aunts by association. They bring rich conversation, comic relief, and emotional refuge. I can’t leave out the best teacher/home tutor ever, Miriam. She came by every Tuesday evening to work extra with Syd, from 5^th through 8^th grade, to give her an academic boost. Perhaps her greatest support person has been her riding instructor, Pat. Pat came into all of our lives when we were hurting as a family; still reeling from a truly horrific experience—an experience affecting Syd the most. When your child is hurting, you, as a parent, are hurting, too. A wolf in sheep’s clothing entered into our lives and threatened to virtually destroy everything that was our beloved daughter. An adult we trusted with our child’s physical and mental wellbeing was not who we thought. After the experience, we learned just how strong Syd really was. The largest part of her healing came about due to a 5’4” horsewoman with fifty years’ experience in the Morgan Horse world under her petite belt. Pat’s soft-spoken style and empathy reversed 99% of the damage done. We will be forever grateful to Pat for her friendship. Unfortunately, the 1% that lingers on, will most likely follow Syd for the rest of her life. If anything, that 1% has taught her not to be too trusting or naïve like her father and I were.

L to R: Her winnings from nine horse show series Summer of 2008. Working beside her riding instructor, Pat. 

We’re in college mode now at the Stringham house. PSAT’s, SAT’s, and college visits consume our free time conversations. Last night, Syd and I poured over the college brochures she’s received in the mail. We had three piles going: Out-of-the-Question, Worth-Looking-Into, and Strong-Possibilities. Numerous considerations went into the selection process such as: distance (because she wants to be able to come home frequently,) total enrollment (she feels she’ll be able to thrive more at a smaller institution,) cost (because college is freaking expensive,) sports programs (she’d like a chance to compete on an equestrian team,) and, of course, undergraduate programs offered. She wants to be a high school teacher. I know. Not a wonderful job market out there for teaching with budget cuts, but she’s passionate about teaching. Has been that way since second grade and knew since 9^th grade she wanted to teach high school students. She’s gone back and forth between history and English. Currently, history seems to be winning out since it fits in with her interests and hobbies more.

While Syd is transitioning into this next phase of her life like any typical high school junior, with excitement and a touch of fear for the unknown, I am not handling it at all well. First and foremost, my seventeen-year-old is my best friend. Sure we have our mother/daughter moments of raised voices and clashing personalities, but those moments usually end with us laughing at each other and hugging. My husband likes to say she and I love each other one minute and hate each other the next—only to be cuddling with each other afterwards. I don’t know what to attribute our closeness to other than to say it’s just the way we are. When I travel, she rides shotgun. I don’t know how many miles the two of us have traveled together: out of town horse show series where she competed and I played horse groom, cultural trips to cities so she could experience life outside of Bradford County, concerts, musicals, and even PTA meetings and school events. If the wheels were rolling, she was in the passenger seat. We’ve consumed numerous bags of Twizzler’s, cans of Pringles, and M&M’s, as well as sipped gallons of Dunkin’ Dount’s coffee while on the road. At any rate, I’m prematurely suffering from separation anxiety. I’m Lorelai Gilmore losing her Rory. Edina Monsoon losing her Saffron. Joan Crawford losing her Christina. You get the idea. I don’t want to let her go. But I have to because she’s growing up. It doesn’t mean I’m going to grow up though. 

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L to R: Syd, with her girls, She Knows Shesa Star (Maui,) CocoMaya, and Foxwin Gemini (Gem.) Showing Maui in 2009.

Are there any words of wisdom about sending your first child off to college from our blog readers? Please comment below! I’d love to hear from you.                

A Weekend of Horses (and Hockey) by C.P. Stringham

Monte Nicholas and Nancy Epler shortly after closing the
sale on their new horse farm. (Photo courtesy of Rockin' N)

Busy, busy, busy...
As most on-the-go families can attest, weekends are a huge juggling act of accommodations.  Within a forty-eight hour period, we attempt the near-impossible feat of fitting each activity into some form of itinerary that makes everyone happy.  Between our work and school weeks, we find ourselves living for the weekend—AKA: our not so leisure leisure time.  This past weekend, while jam-packed, was incredibly satisfying.  We spent hours at a nearby horse farm and even managed to squeeze in a hockey game on Saturday night.  How can you go wrong with horses and hockey? 

Monte Nicholas and Robin Muzzy, riding Jean's horse,
Smarty, chat during a break. 

    

Horse heaven...
Our friends, Nancy Epler and Monte       Nicholas, recently began living their dream of owning a large horse boarding and training facility.  The former Round Top Stables, located on Wolcott Hollow Road in Athens, PA, is now called Rockin’ N Stables & Ranch (Click on name for link.)  Nancy and Monte are no strangers to the horse world.  For them, it has been a lifelong love—both of their fathers were horsemen so you can say it’s in their blood.  In business for a little over four months, this horsepower couple has already built up a great client base and a good reputation.  From my outside perspective, they have reached this early success, in part, due to their willingness to network with fellow trainers and barns.  They understand how important it is within our small horse community to build friendships and collaborate.  The other reason for their success is due to Monte’s training skills.  Many of the barns in our area have hired Monte to come in and break their young horses and desensitize them.  While the words break and desensitize may sound harsh to those outside of the horse world, they are anything but.  Especially in Monte’s capable hands.  While he demands respect from the horses he’s training, he also treats them with respect.  When he introduces new horses to situations, he doesn’t force them to do it in a heavy-handed manner.  Instead, he works on the horse’s natural curiosity to lead them to the end desired result.  My family and I have witnessed him work wonders.

Since Rockin’ N’s opening, they have hosted three well-attended riding clinics.  Each clinician featured has been brought in from other established local barns.  Patricia Ross (my children’s riding instructor,) of Foxwin Farm LLC (click on name for link,) presented the first clinic at Rockin’ N during

From left to right: The clinicians Pat Ross riding Foxwin Jericho 

"Tank," Richie Fisher judging a 4-H show at 

Alparon Park, and Robin Muzzy, Carolyn Mosher,

and Jean Lindsey with Craig Cameron (second from left.) 

(Photos courtesy of Pat Ross, Caitlin McBratney, 

and Jean Lindsey)

the grand opening event.  Pat is a Morgan Horse breeder and dressage instructor with over fifty years of experience and a recipient of the prestigious American Morgan Horse Associations’ Masters Certificate for her “long-standing commitment and involvement with the Morgan Horse.”  She and Monte covered basic horsemanship and training tips with an emphasis on communication and partnership-building for horse and rider through fun group and individual activities.  Their second clinician, Richard A. Fisher, instructed participants on barrel racing and horsemanship.  Richie is the owner and founder of Fisher Equestrian Center and is known throughout the area for his involvement working with 4-H exhibitors by presenting clinics and judging shows as well as training and instructing for novice amateur, amateur, and open showing.  
This past weekend, Rockin’ N hosted an Ultimate Trail Challenge clinic instructed by Jean Lindsey with the help of Carolyn Mosher.  Jean got her start as a young teen under the guidance of Dick and Tete Burleigh of Burleigh Quarter Horses and has since been a clinic student of Craig Cameron, Joann K. Long, and Denny Wilcox.  With her former AQHA gelding, Light Brunch “Leo,” Jean won numerous circuit championships and AQHA Region Five Regional Experience Championships.

Sydney and Leah lead the way as Nancy Epler and Carney follow while
Jean Lindsey has fun during the Ultimate Trail Challenge. (Photo courtesy
Lea Halderman)

My oldest daughter got to participate in two out of three of these clinics.  She lives and breathes horses.  As a non-horse owner, the generous and kind-hearted folks in our horse community help to indulge her obsession.  For this past weekend’s clinic, Jean offered her the use of her three year-old filly.  Needless to say, she had a smile plastered on her face the entire time her butt was in the saddle.  Everyone knows what an honor it is to use one of Jean’s well-trained babies. Sydney was on cloud nine.

Part of the line up during the Ultimate Trail Challenge

As a spectator, my heart literally gushes over with love and admiration while I’m at these events and I witness the teamwork and camaraderie taking place between participants.  This clinic was no different.  Take fifteen riders and fifteen horses, all with their own unique personalities and experience levels, and put them into an indoor arena with obstacles and sensory hazards and you’d expect chaos, but that wasn’t the case.  Through careful planning by Jean, Carolyn, Monte, and Nancy, the clinic was a huge success for both participants and those auditing in the spectator section.  Advanced riders honed their existing skills and knowledge base and novices made giant gains by meeting new challenges.  It was great visiting with old friends and leaving the event having made a few new ones.  Nancy and Monte assured us they are working to bring many more of these wonderful events to Rockin’ N. 

Sydney riding Chief and Mackenzie riding 

Nancy's horse, Carney. (Photo courtesy of Rockin' N)

My daughters get to reap the rewards of being Pat’s lesson students and riding and learning at Foxwin Farm while also enjoying our friendship with Monte and Nancy where they can ride at their farm as well.  Friday night was spent at Rockin’ N while Pat and Monte worked with one of the young Foxwin mares and Sydney got to ride Jean’s AQHA palomino filly, Leah, around the arena while Jean and Carolyn set up for Saturday’s clinic.  On Saturday, we attended the clinic as a supportive family while Syd participated.  Rounding out this great weekend of horse time, both of my girls returned to the barn on Sunday afternoon and rode two of Rockin’ N’s lesson horses.  The greatest part of Sunday’s ride for Sydney?  Talking Monte into letting her ride with an English saddle on his Western gelding, Chief.  Who knows, maybe by summertime, Monte will get into the hunter/jumper spirit and he’ll buy a pair of jodhpurs or breeches for himself—but I wouldn’t count on it.

                                                                                                   Bring on the hockey!!

Syd, Viv, and Mackenzie waiting for the game to start.

Facing off..

During our weekend of horsey Zen time, we fit in an Elmira Jackals game on Saturday night.  Our local ECHL hockey team hosted the Wheeling Nailers.  We had excellent seats right on the glass and loved every minute of checking, hooking, and slashing—and a fight or two.  Although the Jackals lost 1-3, the girls left the game upbeat with the give-away prizes they were able to grab.  Mackenzie even got to take home one of the game pucks after it managed to squeeze between the glass and the net and landed in front of her. Thank you, My Gal Friday, for sharing your tickets with us!