Hitting the Redo Button and Starting Over

A few days ago, I posted this picture on my Instagram feed. Part showing off my pretty blue fingernails and part teasing people as I show where I'm at in the process of retyping Farmer's Daughter.

And then one of my followers there (thank you James!) asked me what I was reading and I was struck by the revelation that I talk and write and post with too many assumptions.

Not everyone knows I'm an independent author who has published two books. So I thought I'd take a few moments and introduce myself.

Hi. I'm Robin.

I'm an Indie Author.

In 2013 I hit publish for my first novel through Amazon KDP. A few years later, I hit publish for the 2nd novel.

I did NOT know what I was doing. I should have been blogging and tweeting and building a fan base before I ever hit that button.

I can't undo that. But in a way, I AM hitting the REDO button. I took my two books off the market for valid reasons...I missed too many continuity mistakes. So while I'm fixing those blunders, I'm also going to fix the social media marketing thing.

I'm going to do a few more posts about my books subject matter. If you've already read version one, please bear with me and share my posts so others can be brought into a universe you already love.

I've also been Twittering more. It's a decent place for me to go when I need a break from the intensity of what I'm writing. Some of my characters struggles are very real to me and I've written a few anxiety attack scene which honestly has triggered my own. More about that another day. Twitter also lets me see what some of my favorite writers and actors are up to...I've had two tweets liked by verified accounts just recently!! Nothing cheers this fangirl up more!!

Dude, Dax Shephard...like, seriously!
If you don't know who he is, you're missing out! lol

Thanks to a wonderful woman Glitter on Instagram who has started posting her vids there, I've decided to give that a try too. I absolutely love her. Probably because she's daring enough to be herself in a world which kinda looks down on overweight people enjoying life. I haven't figured out how to share a link for my YouTube channel, but maybe I'll have it figured out by Monday when I'm scheduling this to be posted. All of my other links for my social media accounts are Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, and Tumblr.

Wish me luck as I hit REDO and plow on ahead!

Much love!

T'is the Season by Robin Janney

What season you may ask?

Graduation season!

And when students graduate, there are parties.

I have two to attend this summer. A nephew of mine who lives just over the border in New York, and C.P. Stringham's youngest daughter as well.

Kenzi's party was Saturday. We were late because Mr. Janney forgot about it and didn't come to bed until eleven Saturday morning. The food was good, the hostess was the mostess and Kenzi seemed to be having a fun time.

Mr. Janney and I have been having a lot of late nights...a.k.a. we're staying up all night and don't go to bed until anywhere from 5-7 am. He's doing what you expect...xboxing. Although the way he yells at his Xbox friends makes me glad they're not his enemies! They have a truly unique relationship which probably wouldn't work in the real world.

I, of course, have been hard at work retyping Farmer's Daughter. I have it saved on OneDrive so I never lose it again. I may have to do the entire retyping thing for Ring of Fire as well because I can't seem to find the CD it was saved on. I was sharing with Mr. Janney just today that I'm happy with some of the changes I've made to Farmer's...some of it has been minor personality changes which better fit the storyline...some scenes had been combined/restructured or both...some of the side characters have been showing up more, a few of them have extra scenes. Of course, one minor change here, another minor change here...can have a domino effect I hadn't planned on, but I'm confident it'll all work out in the long run. I know it's just me, but I think it's flowing a little smoother than the original...flowing a little more like Ring does.

My nephew's graduation party isn't until the 7th of July...and I'm kind of looking forward to it. Kind of...because I'm having my top two wisdom teeth removed 2 days before! I'll have to ask my brother if there's any mushy food on the menu!

Going to keep this Monday blog short because it's late in the day and I want to get it posted.

Until next time, much love!

Fake it Till You Make It by Robin Janney

This post contains STRONG language. Do not read it the F-word offends you.

I've been giving this a lot of thought over the weekend, and I find I can't leave the subject of depression right now. Perhaps because of recent suicides, perhaps because in the novel I'm retyping deals with it.

Years ago, a lifetime ago, when I was going to an unnamed church, a friend and I were given TERRIBLE advice on how to deal with our depression. I didn't realize it at the time, but time has given me a different perspective.

We were told to keep it hidden, and when in a public setting to "fake it until you make it". Because you know, if you smile long enough eventually your mood will change. Grin and bear, just a different turn of phrase.

So not only was it a sin to be depressed, it was also a sin to let it be seen outside of the privacy of your own home. After all, if a Christian isn't joyful ALL the time then they're not a real Christian. If someone is depressed, then there is sin in their life that they aren't confessing and they need to get right with the Lord. Or worse...you had somehow opened a door for a demon to come and oppress you (not to be confused with possessing, that's something different)

FUCK THAT SHIT!!!

Pardon the strong language, but the fake it until you make it attitude is the worse advice ever. It denies the reality that sometimes depression is a real medical issue meant to be treated with drugs or therapy or both. This advice endangers lives!!

Yes, sometimes depression is the result of circumstances. But there is NOTHING wrong with being depressed because life has shit on you. Sadness resulting from job losses, illness, deaths, and other losses can and does turn into a lasting depression. My husband lost 4 family members within a relatively short amount of time, with a few losses on my side tossed in for good measure. So not only was he dealing with his own depression, he had mine too...and vice versa. And I'm not ashamed of those years -- loved and cherished family members were taken from us before their time. It hurt, and was a lot for both of us to process.

We need to stop putting a time limit on grieving.

Even if you are depressed for no reason you can discern...it's still not a sin. Odds are, there isn't a demon hanging on your back either. Sometimes our bodies do things we just don't understand, and sometimes parts just don't work like they're supposed to. Including our brains.

We all wear masks from time to time. Putting on a polite face to deal with a relative we really don't like, or coworkers, or that rude ass person being a dick at the drive-thru. This isn't that.

While religion can and does give people comfort, it can also be abused to...well, abuse people.

This advice is not something I still dwell on. I've washed my hands of the person it came from and understand that some of it was denial about their own mental illness. Probably still is as this person is still in the same church.

It's just recent events have brought the memories back and it makes me so angry! If your church has this attitude about depression being sinful, my advice is to run! Get out! If not for your own mental safety, then for that of a loved one. Find a church willing to accept it as a normal part of life, sometimes needing medical treatment.

If you've ever given anyone this advice...repent and apologize to that person and ask them how you can help. I wish more people had not treated me like I was some kind of leper just because I wasn't willing to put on a happy face when I was not happy. There were some, but I'm not naming names on either side of this set of memories. The guilty know who they are.

This attitude of having to be happy all the time is how so many of us who deal with depression on a regular basis have learned how to look happy on the outside. Which is why people are surprised when a "happy" person commits suicide.

I don't know why it is this way, I'm just venting really.

I just know that we as a society need to stop this harmful attitude. Before more lives are gone.