Last week I posted two pictures for my Wordless Wednesday post. One was of my mother and her pup, who just had her first birthday and isn't really a pup anymore. But I think dogs are like kids who never really grow up. They're perpetual toddlers, forever pups at heart. Like my dog in the second photo. I'm not really sure how old my Jaclyn is, but I think she'll turn 7 this summer. You wouldn't know it by the energy she routinely displays...I wish I had half her energy!
Late in the year of 2016, my Mom expressed the desire for a lap dog. So, I began looking for one for her. Mr. Janney and I found a little doggy for her. Muffin is a mixed breed, terrier and pug I believe.
Mother spoils the dog worse than her grandchildren. I'm pretty sure the entire reason Mom makes toast in the morning for breakfast is so Muffin can have her share.
Unlike my dog, Muffin likes being in a lap. My dog Jaclyn will occasionally ask to come up to my lap, especially recently, but she's a little too big for it to be comfortable for either of us - it doesn't stop us from cuddling though.
My Mom is scheduled to have a lumpectomy on Wednesday, and I'm not sure if she's devised a method to keep Muffin (and the cat, Fuscias) from using her as a bed. Perhaps my sister will be able to provide enough distraction for Muffin to leave Mom alone so she can recover. Sara is going to be staying at Mom's for before and after the surgery, which is a relief for me since FMLA has only approved me to miss 3 hours of a shift for Mom's appointments. I'm actually using a vacation day for the day of the surgery. I suppose I could have more paperwork done but at this point I am sick to death of the FMLA paperwork.
I've always enjoyed taking 'nonsense' pictures. Especially of our animals. I'm not sure why. I did this even before the days of digital cameras. Of course, I have plenty of pictures of landscapes and flowers as well.
I enjoy documenting my life in pictures. It's so much easier to take pictures than it used to be. Although now it's a matter of 'how much memory do I have left?' instead of 'how much film do I have left?' Pictures help the facing memory.
Let's be honest, as the years pass and things change...peoples faces fade in our memory. If I close my eyes and try to picture my father, it's a dim memory...pictures keep that memory from fading away entirely. While I can respect people's desire to not be photographed, it frustrates me because the photo being taken isn't for them...it's for years from now when someone wants to remember.
There are so many moments in time that I don't want to forget. People. places. Pets. Because time goes by faster than we think. It doesn't seem it when we're young, we think we have all the time in the world and we don't realize that those silly pics we're taking are capturing a moment in time we'll never see again.
It seems that just yesterday that I was thirteen and my biggest worries were whether I was going to survive another day at school and whether my father would be home or whether he would be back in the hospital. And here I am today, almost 42 and worrying about rent - still uncertain about what the future holds.
I had it all planned out as a teenager. Runaway when I became 18, go to Hollywood and become rich and famous (and marry Mark Hamill (forgive me Mrs. Hamill, I was young and dumb)). That obviously has not happened! Which I'm okay with, because I kind of like my Mr. Janney.
I apologize if I'm coming off too melancholy or too dramatic. It's just that I'm feeling the weight of life at the moment. I've managed to catch the same episode of Criminal Minds a couple times over the past couple of weeks. They usually begin and end their episodes with a quote. This particular episode ended with a quote I felt was applicable to my current phase in life.
I don't think that letting go means forgetting though. So I take pictures to remember the life that brought me to the place I am today. Where I will tomorrow. Because it's all connected.
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| Bath day... |
Mother spoils the dog worse than her grandchildren. I'm pretty sure the entire reason Mom makes toast in the morning for breakfast is so Muffin can have her share.
Unlike my dog, Muffin likes being in a lap. My dog Jaclyn will occasionally ask to come up to my lap, especially recently, but she's a little too big for it to be comfortable for either of us - it doesn't stop us from cuddling though.
My Mom is scheduled to have a lumpectomy on Wednesday, and I'm not sure if she's devised a method to keep Muffin (and the cat, Fuscias) from using her as a bed. Perhaps my sister will be able to provide enough distraction for Muffin to leave Mom alone so she can recover. Sara is going to be staying at Mom's for before and after the surgery, which is a relief for me since FMLA has only approved me to miss 3 hours of a shift for Mom's appointments. I'm actually using a vacation day for the day of the surgery. I suppose I could have more paperwork done but at this point I am sick to death of the FMLA paperwork.
 |
| Jaclyn as a puppy...her tail still wags that fast! |
I enjoy documenting my life in pictures. It's so much easier to take pictures than it used to be. Although now it's a matter of 'how much memory do I have left?' instead of 'how much film do I have left?' Pictures help the facing memory.
Let's be honest, as the years pass and things change...peoples faces fade in our memory. If I close my eyes and try to picture my father, it's a dim memory...pictures keep that memory from fading away entirely. While I can respect people's desire to not be photographed, it frustrates me because the photo being taken isn't for them...it's for years from now when someone wants to remember.
 |
| Left to right: sister Sara, Mom, me (pretty sure that's Mr Janney's head behind me lol) Photo cred: Sara |
It seems that just yesterday that I was thirteen and my biggest worries were whether I was going to survive another day at school and whether my father would be home or whether he would be back in the hospital. And here I am today, almost 42 and worrying about rent - still uncertain about what the future holds.
I had it all planned out as a teenager. Runaway when I became 18, go to Hollywood and become rich and famous (and marry Mark Hamill (forgive me Mrs. Hamill, I was young and dumb)). That obviously has not happened! Which I'm okay with, because I kind of like my Mr. Janney.
I apologize if I'm coming off too melancholy or too dramatic. It's just that I'm feeling the weight of life at the moment. I've managed to catch the same episode of Criminal Minds a couple times over the past couple of weeks. They usually begin and end their episodes with a quote. This particular episode ended with a quote I felt was applicable to my current phase in life.
I don't think that letting go means forgetting though. So I take pictures to remember the life that brought me to the place I am today. Where I will tomorrow. Because it's all connected.
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