Hurry Up and Wait - by Robin Janney

It doesn't matter what job I've work at, "Hurry up and wait..." has been a recurring theme.

Rush to meet the deadline of one kind or another, only to stand around waiting for the other shoe to drop - for the last page of the newspaper to arrive, for the cow line to get moving again, for the rush order cabinet door to be made and put through the final process of sanding. And now, we 'rush' to get the deliveries made on time all week while I try to learn the ins and outs of real life trucking, only to find myself twiddling my thumbs on the weekends.

Hela vs the Valkyries needs to be a movie of its own...

You'd think I'd welcome this "free time". I could use it to write or read. Work on either Bigger than the Beetles, the third book in my series, or on a blog post. Even blog ahead if I was smart. Instead, I sit here at my laptop binge watching old episodes of Deep Space 9. Okay, I also watched Ant-Man and the Wasp as well as Thor Ragnarok (the best Thor movie and in the top 5 for the Marvel movies in general in my opinion). Right now I have A Solo Story lined up to watch next, once I'm done cooking. But then I'll go back to Deep Space 9...although the more I watch the Harry Potter movie on the tv, the more I'm tempted to just keep watching that! It's early yet and I won't be going back to work until sometime tomorrow, so maybe I'll manage all of it!

I'm struggling with depression this weekend, with a smattering of anxiety. Some of it stems from the bit of the squabble I had with my trainer shortly before week's end. Some of it stems from being in a strange place all by myself. Granted, I'm in the same nice hotel I was last weekend, so it's not as strange as it was. I managed to go to Walmart today without panicking, and that's always a plus. I have 232 training hours left before I can join my husband and we can bring our dog along, thus reducing my anxiety and depression, and it seems unbearably long at this moment.

missing my girl :(

I did put in a call to the company's Student department, and we're going to see if we can fix the schism between me and my trainer. There was so little communication between she and I on Friday, that I don't know whether it can be fixed. It all boils down to poor communication in the first place. We shall see.

Just one more hiccup in this journey we call life. I know that I'll get through this and come out for the better. No doubt I'll use it for the characters in my stories. I just need to get through the worse part of this momentary bout the blues before I can channel it into their angst. I hate this part of my depression - I can never write when I'm in this certain spot. Pisses me off because writing makes me happy. I've never understood this quirk.

Hope everyone is having a wonderful day, whether you're celebrating Easter or Passover or neither.

And We're Off - Sort Of by Robin Janney

I have started my training for the company...sort of. My trainer is on a dedicated route, and doesn't run on the weekends. Which means I've only been training for like two and a half days (was picked up late Wednesday afternoon and drove back)...and I'm already back in a hotel.

It's just for the weekend. Trainer will be calling my Sunday to let me know when I'll be picked up again (either Sunday night or Monday morning I think.) It'll be a day later next weekend because of the holiday (the store we deliver to will be closed on Sunday). It will make it harder to get my training hours, which is sucky - but on the flip side even after a couple days, I was ready for a break from the top bunk (pictured). Talk about anxiety triggering claustrophobia. I haven't had a true 'attack' but I'll be damned if I can sleep longer than a couple hours at a time.

So I slept late today and am just taking it easy for the moment. Watching Men in Back II and catching up on Clash of Clans and...I might even write later today. I am so much more comfortable in this little hotel room than I was in the one they had us in during Orientation and training. It's like a little apartment, even has a kitchen! A full size fridge and a little stove, even a dishwasher! Not that I'm probably going to use any of it. But it's nice to know that it's there if I wanted to. I might go out to Walmart later today...I need to get some allergy medicine too - my sinuses are killing me.

Training begins in earnest on Monday. I hope. A little nervous about backing in the real world, especially since my trainer has already proven to be a little impatient when it comes to back. I tried at the one store, she ended up getting in and finishing it herself. The store  employees opening the dock doors made her feel rushed I think. Well, next week is a new week. Maybe I'll have to tell her what I told the one instructor at school...just leave me alone and let me figure it out on my own, I'll ask for help if I need it. I know what I have to do, I just sometimes get my angles backwards. It doesn't help that none of the real world situations have looked "text book" but I think I should be able to figure it out...eventually.

I snapped a selfie while I was Off Duty in the passenger seat...

I did make myself proud yesterday on the drive back from Philly. Across the top of a double-deck bridge, and through a tunnel. Two things that I don't like. But I did it, without flinching. I said to my trainer after we were off the bridge, "Is now a good time to say I'm terrified of heights?" She was surprised, said she hadn't been able to tell from how I handled the bridge...and later said she hadn't warned me about the tunnel coming up to see how I would handle that since it made sense to her that if I was afraid of heights I'd also be bothered by the tunnel. It wasn't a surprise, because I had been reading the signs for a while...but I also didn't ask if we'd be going through it because I was afraid the answer was going to be yes! Silly, I know. But she says I handled the tunnel well too. I did the only thing there was to do...just drove on. Focused on the task at hand.

Which is all I can do right now. Focus on learning what I need to so I can become a 'qualified' driver and get teamed with Mr. Janney. One thing at a time!

Until next weekend, be safe out there.

Ready...Set... by Robin Janney

Waiting on the GO!

If all goes as planned - which has seldom happened this past year - I should be meeting my company driving trainer late tomorrow afternoon.

I'm excited and nervous all over again.

All over again because the last time I was assigned a trainer, last week, turned out to be a false alarm. Not sure if it was a lack of communication (on others' part, not mine) or just bad timing. Especially since the initial phone number I was given turned out to be a wrong number! Regardless, it's over and done with and I was assigned a new trainer yesterday. And this time the number was the right one!

This trainer sounds as nice as the first one, so I'm optimistic again. It's hard forming an opinion of someone based on how they sound on the phone. Honestly, she sounds like a little old granny to me, so I think she sounds nice.

Isn't she adorable?

I've been trying to keep myself busy as I've been waiting. We aren't allowed to check out of the hotel, so I'm feeling the miles between me and my doggy right now. I know she's being taken good care of, I get the occasional picture, but it's hard when I hear reports of her not eating well. There's nothing I can do for her except get through my training as soon as I can without cheating myself out of learning time.

My trainer runs a dedicated route, so I won't be getting out of the east coast. Which kind of bums me, but once I can join Mr. Janney on his truck that will change so there's that much. If I understood my trainer correctly, I'll probably be in a motel room at least one day a week on the weekend. It is what it is. As long as I get trained correctly.

To keep myself entertained while I wait, I've read two books and watched a lot of Ion and USA when I haven't been doing one thing or another at the Terminal. I've been through the simulator and let me tell you it sucked - the motion of the screens as I pretended to drive around a virtual rig made me dizzy because I wasn't actually moving. I'd rather play GTA any day, and I hate GTA.

I've tried writing on Book 3. It's been hard because I've been battling depression and anxiety over the entire trainer issue from last week. I have made progress, but there has been more than one night I've opened the file only to add one word here and there before calling it good. Of course, right now I've got the excited anxiety going on so I might not be able to write much tonight because I'm too high strung with hope.

Hopefully I'll be able to check in later this weekend. Have a good week all.

Daffodils outside the hotel 

The Latest update by Robin Janney

Finally able to buzz my hair!

I think one of the hardest things about writing blog posts is coming up with a good enough title. I'd rather title a poem or a book. Those are almost easier...a few words to sum up a whole novel or poem theme. Blog titles need to be catchy and there's nothing catchy about 'The Latest Update' but that's exactly what this is!

So, I made it through orientation. My blood sugar behaved well enough to be passable that first day for the physical. I'm not sure why it hopped up from 105 to 170 after breakfast, especially since all I had was coffee and cheesy eggs...AND I even remembered to take my meds that morning! I don't know, but I've had much better readings than what I had during the first part of the month, so the changes I've made are working and I need to keep with them.

They are letting me try again even though my A1C (the 3 month average test) was on the too high side - up to an 8.5!! And they're giving me 3 months to bring it down to 7.9 or better. If I keep eating the way I am - low carb - and do my best to stay active even during training (which may prove difficult, but we'll see), bringing that number down will be the easy part. KEEPING it that way will be the harder part.

Especially since Mr. Janney doesn't have the same dietary restrictions I do. It's very hard to watch him eat something like mashed potatoes when it's something I should stay away from. He is very supportive though and I know that once we're in our own rig as a team, things will be a tad easier.

Speaking of which, it's to the right. I have ridden in it, and it's a smooth enough ride even though Mr. Janney is far from impressed with it. But it is new and still needs to be broken in so maybe it'll get better.

Mr. Janney was in the general neighborhood when I began my orientation this week and he was able to get a load even closer so he could take a few days to visit with me. It was so nice! The last we'd seen each other was on Valentine's weekend when I drove out to Michigan to visit him while his trainer was on vacation. We were only able to get a room one night, so the other night we had to sleep in his rig if we wanted to be together. That was fun, since the bed is technically only meant for one person, but we managed.

So here I sit in the hotel room, waiting for a trainer to become available. I have to report in to the terminal every morning during the week until I'm assigned a trainer and can take off with them. If I stick with my desire to have a female trainer, I may be here for a while. It's not an easy decision to make, because I'm going to feel weird even with a female so I can't imagine how awkward it would be with a male. Especially if whichever trainer I end up with sticks me in the top bunk, as is their right. I climbed up into the top bunks of 'our' rig, just to see if I could do it. It's not pretty, just like my 90 degree backing maneuver, but I can do it.

I get paid either way, so there's that much. I either take walks on the treadmill, or around the hotel building. There is a shuttle van available, between here and the terminal and other places like Walmart and the laundromat (tomorrow's agenda). I spent most of yesterday trying to fix my smartphone. Not sure what changed all of a sudden, but I was getting pop ads outside of apps. Not cool. I can't be having that happen when I'm out on the road because the phone is needed to do the job. I tried restarting the phone, deleting apps, restarting again. Then I decided to do a factory reset, and things were okay for a while...but then they started happening again.

So when one was playing, I saw an Info button and I hit it to see what I'd get. One of the options was 'Why am I seeing this ad?' DO TELL! So yeah, the answer was - "Facebook". Really? So I disabled the app on my phone...the closest I could get to uninstalling it. And haven't had an ad pop up since.

Doing what I do best - waiting!

Look Facebook, I have no problems with ads when I'm on Facebook. But as soon as I close that app - the ads should stop!! I can't be having random videos playing telling me I'll lose my reward if I shut it down while I'm trying to do business and math, because dammit - math is hard enough!

Rant over. I'll probably finish my even either by working on book three or reading or binge watching 'Blue Bloods'...or, knowing me, all three. With the A/C on because it was in the 70's today and my room is still a little warm! My roommate already got her trainer, so I have the room to myself, for the time being. It'll probably change tomorrow or as soon as another female employee gets a trainer.

Stay safe everyone! I'll do my best to check in once in a while.

Waiting and More Waiting

Well, I shouldn't be surprised. Very few things have gone 'as planned' in my life for over a year now, why should it start now?

I began my Orientation as planned, and was sent home in the middle of it for a doctor's note and a blood test. All because I had half a slice of french toast with my breakfast which was enough to drive my blood sugar over the limit for the physical - if they'd warned me they were going to prick my finger, I'd have skipped breakfast all together and given them a fasting reading!

So, the very next day I was put on a bus and found myself back home.

I have had my blood drawn. My A1C reading is higher than what it was a few months ago, but still within the legal limits for a Professional Driver. The A1C reading gives you the average blood sugar reading for the last three months. I don't know how that works, just that it does. And I also received the medical release from my primary doctor. My doctors have all been behind this plan from the beginning.

The papers were faxed Monday afternoon, and I was told to call on Wednesday if I hadn't heard anything. Which I did. And was told they never received the fax!! So I took pictures with my cellphone and emailed them to my recruiter. She's been great, trying to help me get through this. I gave her the information she needed today...but I called back a little while ago only to find out I'm STILL in review.

She enjoys having me back home! lol

If there's a cosmic reason for this, I would love to know what it is!!

In other news, Mr. Janney has finished his training and is being dropped off by his trainer sometime tonight. Somewhere out in Ohio. Probably at a hotel. Hopefully he won't have to wait for too long to be assigned a truck.

Also in other news, as I was heading out for my daily walk yesterday, another piece of book three fell into place and I've been pecking away at that. So I guess this waiting time isn't a complete loss.

The Post You've Been Waiting For by Robin Janney

A pic that isn't a selfie!! 

So, if you haven't heard yet, I finally passed my CDL road test. I just pretended that the examiner was my phone GPS, which I talk to all the time anyway. It couldn't have been a nice day in terms of weather and road conditions, which was kind of amazing since it stormed the night before.

And now the waiting is over...or just beginning depending on how you look at it.

Tomorrow is my first day of Orientation, followed by a second. And then, I'll have to wait to be assigned a trainer and then for the trainer to pick me up from the hotel here in Allentown. So far, between Mr. Janney's and my new roommate's experiences, it should be about a week. Ish.

And then we'll be running the roads. Going by their experiences, it'll be about 6 weeks after that before I'll be considered trained enough to join my husband in our rig.

The irony in my current location for orientation, is that this town is where I tried going to college many moons ago. Just one bump in the road back then, but I think it's all worked out for the best. I'm probably about a fifteen minute drive from the college, but I don't think I'll give it a visit. It wasn't a wasted experience by any means, even if I didn't complete a degree. Came out with some pretty awesome friends.

I am excited and nervous about this new start. So much so I had trouble sleeping last night! I don't think I'll have too much trouble with that tonight. I'm exhausted. (I say that now lol)

Mr. Janney is enjoying himself as he goes through his own training, so we're both pretty optimistic that this venture is going to be successful. He's presently in Texas headed to L.A. before heading back to Pittsburgh. It'll be quite the temperature change.

For now, I'm going to sign off and think about winding down for the night. Maybe write a few sentences in my story.

Stay safe everyone/

Waiting on the Weather by Robin Janney

That blue dot is me! lol

Remember those days in our youth when snow days were fun? We didn't have to get up early, or if we did we got to go back to bed. Either way, we didn't have to go to school and we got to play in knee deep snow. (we have pictures of me as a young teen with snow above my knees - somewhere)

It's not so much fun when you're an adult and your road tests depends on the weather. As of right now my next retest is scheduled for 11 tomorrow morning...and there is a wintry storm beginning even as I type this. I've emailed briefly with the school's directer and he's told me all the variables that he's taking into consideration regarding tomorrow's test. Right now, it's a waiting game.

Judging from the radar and what they're predicting, I think the odds of my test being rescheduled are on the high side. On one hand, I want us all to be safe - and if DOT shuts the roads down or imposes a Commercial Vehicle ban it'll be out of our hands anyway. On the other hand, I had a pretty good road drive yesterday with more good shifts and turns than bad. AND I'm still overflowing with confidence because of my solo road trip to Michigan and back again.

Mr. Janney had a few days off because his trainer did, and because the trainer lives in Michigan and is taking his days off there, that's where hubby's days off are. Over 500 miles one way and I did it all by myself.

I know that might sound strange from someone who is working on getting her CDL and becoming an over the road trucker. No doubt some of my troubles passing my road test stems from a lack of self confidence. I've always had a lack of confidence in myself, and this trip was a definite boost in that area. I was somewhat familiar with the first leg of the journey as it's the same way we took to visit my cousins in Indiana a few years ago. And 86 through NY is almost desolate for large stretches of the highway. It got interesting when the highways took me through Cleveland, Toledo, and Detroit. I just turned my music off so I could concentrate on the traffic and road signs, which my map GPS usually warned me about with enough advanced warning to move to the left or the right.

Which is when I got an idea on how to overcome my nerves with the road test examiner. I decided I was just going to pretend he's my GPS. I talk to her all the time traveling, saying 'thank you' and 'It would have been nice to know about that a mile ago' even though she's pre-programmed and can't respond. One of the things we have to do during a road test, is to give a hazard commentary. We have to call out hazards we see...or potential hazards. Things like speed limits and bridge heights.

I did run into some mild wintry weather on the way back from Michigan. Snow mixing with sunshine outside and through Cleveland. It was pretty and a  bit mesmerizing to see the high rise buildings through the bright snow. I wish I could have taken a picture of it. But since I was the one driving, I did my best to drink it in. Of course, here at home I can just stick my head out my door and take a picture of the falling snow. Each area has it's own beauty. I enjoy the country as much as the city. Of course, if you know me at all, you know I prefer the beach over both...especially over snow.

On 86, there was more steady snowfall with a bit sticking to the road. Not a lot, but enough I cut my speed. And felt like I was in danger of being hypnotized by the snow. Which was sometimes illuminated by the full moon. Which was even cooler than snow and sunshine. The night almost seemed to glow around me as I drove. I was talking with Mr. Janney on this leg of the trip and it was nice to have that company. I'm so glad we had a large enough tax refund to buy him a cellphone for his job. I know I could have spent that money on needed bills, but he is reaching the part of his training where the cellphone was going to be a necessity.

I'm going to wrap this up now. I have to get on top of the things I need to do today before the day is over and this blog post is my only achievement. It would be so easy to just binge watch Blue Blood reruns, or pop in the latest DVR recording of I Am the Night and just waste the day away, but I'm going to save that delight for later. And I really do have a few chores I need to knock out of the way before I get back to writing Book 3!

You know me, I'll keep everyone updated on the status of the test.

Have a great day everyone! Stay safe!