Third Time's the Charm? by Robin Janney

Crossing the Mississippi River into St. Louis. No longer in the rig, so I wasn't
in violation of any rules. I got to be a tourist for a few minutes!

If you've been following the drama that is me trying to learn how to drive a rig and team with my husband, then you know I've run into a few issues with finding a good trainer. Friday afternoon I was picked up by my third, and...I'm pretty hopeful about this guy.

For starters, he has thirteen years experience. And he reminds me a little bit of the psychiatrist in charge of me back in '94 - he doesn't understand why I had trouble with the last trainer. The doctor back in '94 outright told me, 'I don't know why you're here.' Calling into question not only the college staff who insisted on my hospitalization and the emergency room admittance personnel. But that's another story and much water under the bridge.

Leaving out many of the details, per orders not to talk too much about it, I just said that my last trainer's biggest complaint about my driving was lane maintenance. He watched me drive for a while, then said he saw no problem with my lane maintenance. Well, he said a few other things that I might talk about another time.

It's an easy enough run that I'll be doing...from the drop yard in St. Louis to the one in Indianapolis and back again. And I'll get to back up twice a day, once in each drop yard. Backing has always been my weakness, and he seemed patient enough the first time. I definitely need to learn to control my speed during the backing up process - even letting the rig go backwards under its own power (no throttle) it still can go too fast. But that's where practice makes perfect.

That moment when you realize
your mom gets you

Depending on how you look at it, I was lucky to get this weekend off. Usually he runs seven days a week. The weekend hours are different, which is going to mess with my head. Well, time is already messing with my head since I'm in a different time zone than usual. Does that mean I'll be time traveling every day???

I'm still giddy that I'm on the other side of the Mississippi River! For many, the Mississippi is a demarcation line similar to the Mason Dixon line...you're not really in the west until you're across the Mississippi.

I'm just across it, but I'm across it just the same. And actually, I'm on the other side of the Missouri River too. My home for the next few weeks is in St. Clair, Missouri. I'll pick my trainer up each morning, go to the drop yard in East St. Louis. I'll get to see the St. Louis Gateway arch at a distance every freakin' day! I'm not sure how long I'll be here, I have just over 200 training hours left. I'm guessing about two weeks. Ish. I hope to be able to get better pictures before I'm out of this area. I did get one of the Gateway Arch from the drop yard (featured below). I'll have to ask my trainer if he minds if I use his car to run out to a nearby park for photos. I don't want to assume anything.

I've always wanted to travel, even if it's always intimidated me a little. While Mr. Janney and I will be limited to what we can do driving a big rig, this is a step in the right direction. I might not always be able to get pictures, but there will definitely be memories made. Hubby's already told me how often he thought of me while he was training: "Yup, if Robin was here, she'd be taking pictures." Mountains and clouds...yeah, I'm a goofball who likes to take pictures of clouds, and my husband knows that. Clouds, the moon, flowers, sunsets...random seed puffs floating in the air. He has pulled over a time or two to indulge my desire to photograph something!

Not the greatest pic of the Arch, but...it's there just the same!

This post is jumping around a little bit, and I apologize. Just proof of how confident and excited I'm feeling at the moment. Another difficulty of being me, I can swing from one extreme to the other with little notice. Although in this case, it happened over the few days it took Mr Janney and I to get to where we needed to be for me to be picked up by my trainer. I will be forever grateful to our company for allowing us to do that and to the trainer for waiting for me. He didn't have to.

The trip west was one of the most relaxing I've had since this journey began. Not just my time with my husband, but even when I was driving the rig. I just had very little anxiety. Even during the heavy traffic we dealt with, because again - my trainer had no problem with my driving through it. He approved of the distance I was keeping, the speed I was going. He helped here and there as needed, shaking his head as I told him the previous criticisms I'd received.

Here's hoping the anxiety stays this low level through the rest of our time together!

Have a good weekend all...and here's a final picture for you.

Sunset as we crossed the Mississippi!

Hurry Up and Wait - by Robin Janney

It doesn't matter what job I've work at, "Hurry up and wait..." has been a recurring theme.

Rush to meet the deadline of one kind or another, only to stand around waiting for the other shoe to drop - for the last page of the newspaper to arrive, for the cow line to get moving again, for the rush order cabinet door to be made and put through the final process of sanding. And now, we 'rush' to get the deliveries made on time all week while I try to learn the ins and outs of real life trucking, only to find myself twiddling my thumbs on the weekends.

Hela vs the Valkyries needs to be a movie of its own...

You'd think I'd welcome this "free time". I could use it to write or read. Work on either Bigger than the Beetles, the third book in my series, or on a blog post. Even blog ahead if I was smart. Instead, I sit here at my laptop binge watching old episodes of Deep Space 9. Okay, I also watched Ant-Man and the Wasp as well as Thor Ragnarok (the best Thor movie and in the top 5 for the Marvel movies in general in my opinion). Right now I have A Solo Story lined up to watch next, once I'm done cooking. But then I'll go back to Deep Space 9...although the more I watch the Harry Potter movie on the tv, the more I'm tempted to just keep watching that! It's early yet and I won't be going back to work until sometime tomorrow, so maybe I'll manage all of it!

I'm struggling with depression this weekend, with a smattering of anxiety. Some of it stems from the bit of the squabble I had with my trainer shortly before week's end. Some of it stems from being in a strange place all by myself. Granted, I'm in the same nice hotel I was last weekend, so it's not as strange as it was. I managed to go to Walmart today without panicking, and that's always a plus. I have 232 training hours left before I can join my husband and we can bring our dog along, thus reducing my anxiety and depression, and it seems unbearably long at this moment.

missing my girl :(

I did put in a call to the company's Student department, and we're going to see if we can fix the schism between me and my trainer. There was so little communication between she and I on Friday, that I don't know whether it can be fixed. It all boils down to poor communication in the first place. We shall see.

Just one more hiccup in this journey we call life. I know that I'll get through this and come out for the better. No doubt I'll use it for the characters in my stories. I just need to get through the worse part of this momentary bout the blues before I can channel it into their angst. I hate this part of my depression - I can never write when I'm in this certain spot. Pisses me off because writing makes me happy. I've never understood this quirk.

Hope everyone is having a wonderful day, whether you're celebrating Easter or Passover or neither.

And We're Off - Sort Of by Robin Janney

I have started my training for the company...sort of. My trainer is on a dedicated route, and doesn't run on the weekends. Which means I've only been training for like two and a half days (was picked up late Wednesday afternoon and drove back)...and I'm already back in a hotel.

It's just for the weekend. Trainer will be calling my Sunday to let me know when I'll be picked up again (either Sunday night or Monday morning I think.) It'll be a day later next weekend because of the holiday (the store we deliver to will be closed on Sunday). It will make it harder to get my training hours, which is sucky - but on the flip side even after a couple days, I was ready for a break from the top bunk (pictured). Talk about anxiety triggering claustrophobia. I haven't had a true 'attack' but I'll be damned if I can sleep longer than a couple hours at a time.

So I slept late today and am just taking it easy for the moment. Watching Men in Back II and catching up on Clash of Clans and...I might even write later today. I am so much more comfortable in this little hotel room than I was in the one they had us in during Orientation and training. It's like a little apartment, even has a kitchen! A full size fridge and a little stove, even a dishwasher! Not that I'm probably going to use any of it. But it's nice to know that it's there if I wanted to. I might go out to Walmart later today...I need to get some allergy medicine too - my sinuses are killing me.

Training begins in earnest on Monday. I hope. A little nervous about backing in the real world, especially since my trainer has already proven to be a little impatient when it comes to back. I tried at the one store, she ended up getting in and finishing it herself. The store  employees opening the dock doors made her feel rushed I think. Well, next week is a new week. Maybe I'll have to tell her what I told the one instructor at school...just leave me alone and let me figure it out on my own, I'll ask for help if I need it. I know what I have to do, I just sometimes get my angles backwards. It doesn't help that none of the real world situations have looked "text book" but I think I should be able to figure it out...eventually.

I snapped a selfie while I was Off Duty in the passenger seat...

I did make myself proud yesterday on the drive back from Philly. Across the top of a double-deck bridge, and through a tunnel. Two things that I don't like. But I did it, without flinching. I said to my trainer after we were off the bridge, "Is now a good time to say I'm terrified of heights?" She was surprised, said she hadn't been able to tell from how I handled the bridge...and later said she hadn't warned me about the tunnel coming up to see how I would handle that since it made sense to her that if I was afraid of heights I'd also be bothered by the tunnel. It wasn't a surprise, because I had been reading the signs for a while...but I also didn't ask if we'd be going through it because I was afraid the answer was going to be yes! Silly, I know. But she says I handled the tunnel well too. I did the only thing there was to do...just drove on. Focused on the task at hand.

Which is all I can do right now. Focus on learning what I need to so I can become a 'qualified' driver and get teamed with Mr. Janney. One thing at a time!

Until next weekend, be safe out there.

Ready...Set... by Robin Janney

Waiting on the GO!

If all goes as planned - which has seldom happened this past year - I should be meeting my company driving trainer late tomorrow afternoon.

I'm excited and nervous all over again.

All over again because the last time I was assigned a trainer, last week, turned out to be a false alarm. Not sure if it was a lack of communication (on others' part, not mine) or just bad timing. Especially since the initial phone number I was given turned out to be a wrong number! Regardless, it's over and done with and I was assigned a new trainer yesterday. And this time the number was the right one!

This trainer sounds as nice as the first one, so I'm optimistic again. It's hard forming an opinion of someone based on how they sound on the phone. Honestly, she sounds like a little old granny to me, so I think she sounds nice.

Isn't she adorable?

I've been trying to keep myself busy as I've been waiting. We aren't allowed to check out of the hotel, so I'm feeling the miles between me and my doggy right now. I know she's being taken good care of, I get the occasional picture, but it's hard when I hear reports of her not eating well. There's nothing I can do for her except get through my training as soon as I can without cheating myself out of learning time.

My trainer runs a dedicated route, so I won't be getting out of the east coast. Which kind of bums me, but once I can join Mr. Janney on his truck that will change so there's that much. If I understood my trainer correctly, I'll probably be in a motel room at least one day a week on the weekend. It is what it is. As long as I get trained correctly.

To keep myself entertained while I wait, I've read two books and watched a lot of Ion and USA when I haven't been doing one thing or another at the Terminal. I've been through the simulator and let me tell you it sucked - the motion of the screens as I pretended to drive around a virtual rig made me dizzy because I wasn't actually moving. I'd rather play GTA any day, and I hate GTA.

I've tried writing on Book 3. It's been hard because I've been battling depression and anxiety over the entire trainer issue from last week. I have made progress, but there has been more than one night I've opened the file only to add one word here and there before calling it good. Of course, right now I've got the excited anxiety going on so I might not be able to write much tonight because I'm too high strung with hope.

Hopefully I'll be able to check in later this weekend. Have a good week all.

Daffodils outside the hotel 

The Latest update by Robin Janney

Finally able to buzz my hair!

I think one of the hardest things about writing blog posts is coming up with a good enough title. I'd rather title a poem or a book. Those are almost easier...a few words to sum up a whole novel or poem theme. Blog titles need to be catchy and there's nothing catchy about 'The Latest Update' but that's exactly what this is!

So, I made it through orientation. My blood sugar behaved well enough to be passable that first day for the physical. I'm not sure why it hopped up from 105 to 170 after breakfast, especially since all I had was coffee and cheesy eggs...AND I even remembered to take my meds that morning! I don't know, but I've had much better readings than what I had during the first part of the month, so the changes I've made are working and I need to keep with them.

They are letting me try again even though my A1C (the 3 month average test) was on the too high side - up to an 8.5!! And they're giving me 3 months to bring it down to 7.9 or better. If I keep eating the way I am - low carb - and do my best to stay active even during training (which may prove difficult, but we'll see), bringing that number down will be the easy part. KEEPING it that way will be the harder part.

Especially since Mr. Janney doesn't have the same dietary restrictions I do. It's very hard to watch him eat something like mashed potatoes when it's something I should stay away from. He is very supportive though and I know that once we're in our own rig as a team, things will be a tad easier.

Speaking of which, it's to the right. I have ridden in it, and it's a smooth enough ride even though Mr. Janney is far from impressed with it. But it is new and still needs to be broken in so maybe it'll get better.

Mr. Janney was in the general neighborhood when I began my orientation this week and he was able to get a load even closer so he could take a few days to visit with me. It was so nice! The last we'd seen each other was on Valentine's weekend when I drove out to Michigan to visit him while his trainer was on vacation. We were only able to get a room one night, so the other night we had to sleep in his rig if we wanted to be together. That was fun, since the bed is technically only meant for one person, but we managed.

So here I sit in the hotel room, waiting for a trainer to become available. I have to report in to the terminal every morning during the week until I'm assigned a trainer and can take off with them. If I stick with my desire to have a female trainer, I may be here for a while. It's not an easy decision to make, because I'm going to feel weird even with a female so I can't imagine how awkward it would be with a male. Especially if whichever trainer I end up with sticks me in the top bunk, as is their right. I climbed up into the top bunks of 'our' rig, just to see if I could do it. It's not pretty, just like my 90 degree backing maneuver, but I can do it.

I get paid either way, so there's that much. I either take walks on the treadmill, or around the hotel building. There is a shuttle van available, between here and the terminal and other places like Walmart and the laundromat (tomorrow's agenda). I spent most of yesterday trying to fix my smartphone. Not sure what changed all of a sudden, but I was getting pop ads outside of apps. Not cool. I can't be having that happen when I'm out on the road because the phone is needed to do the job. I tried restarting the phone, deleting apps, restarting again. Then I decided to do a factory reset, and things were okay for a while...but then they started happening again.

So when one was playing, I saw an Info button and I hit it to see what I'd get. One of the options was 'Why am I seeing this ad?' DO TELL! So yeah, the answer was - "Facebook". Really? So I disabled the app on my phone...the closest I could get to uninstalling it. And haven't had an ad pop up since.

Doing what I do best - waiting!

Look Facebook, I have no problems with ads when I'm on Facebook. But as soon as I close that app - the ads should stop!! I can't be having random videos playing telling me I'll lose my reward if I shut it down while I'm trying to do business and math, because dammit - math is hard enough!

Rant over. I'll probably finish my even either by working on book three or reading or binge watching 'Blue Bloods'...or, knowing me, all three. With the A/C on because it was in the 70's today and my room is still a little warm! My roommate already got her trainer, so I have the room to myself, for the time being. It'll probably change tomorrow or as soon as another female employee gets a trainer.

Stay safe everyone! I'll do my best to check in once in a while.

Waiting and More Waiting

Well, I shouldn't be surprised. Very few things have gone 'as planned' in my life for over a year now, why should it start now?

I began my Orientation as planned, and was sent home in the middle of it for a doctor's note and a blood test. All because I had half a slice of french toast with my breakfast which was enough to drive my blood sugar over the limit for the physical - if they'd warned me they were going to prick my finger, I'd have skipped breakfast all together and given them a fasting reading!

So, the very next day I was put on a bus and found myself back home.

I have had my blood drawn. My A1C reading is higher than what it was a few months ago, but still within the legal limits for a Professional Driver. The A1C reading gives you the average blood sugar reading for the last three months. I don't know how that works, just that it does. And I also received the medical release from my primary doctor. My doctors have all been behind this plan from the beginning.

The papers were faxed Monday afternoon, and I was told to call on Wednesday if I hadn't heard anything. Which I did. And was told they never received the fax!! So I took pictures with my cellphone and emailed them to my recruiter. She's been great, trying to help me get through this. I gave her the information she needed today...but I called back a little while ago only to find out I'm STILL in review.

She enjoys having me back home! lol

If there's a cosmic reason for this, I would love to know what it is!!

In other news, Mr. Janney has finished his training and is being dropped off by his trainer sometime tonight. Somewhere out in Ohio. Probably at a hotel. Hopefully he won't have to wait for too long to be assigned a truck.

Also in other news, as I was heading out for my daily walk yesterday, another piece of book three fell into place and I've been pecking away at that. So I guess this waiting time isn't a complete loss.

The Post You've Been Waiting For by Robin Janney

A pic that isn't a selfie!! 

So, if you haven't heard yet, I finally passed my CDL road test. I just pretended that the examiner was my phone GPS, which I talk to all the time anyway. It couldn't have been a nice day in terms of weather and road conditions, which was kind of amazing since it stormed the night before.

And now the waiting is over...or just beginning depending on how you look at it.

Tomorrow is my first day of Orientation, followed by a second. And then, I'll have to wait to be assigned a trainer and then for the trainer to pick me up from the hotel here in Allentown. So far, between Mr. Janney's and my new roommate's experiences, it should be about a week. Ish.

And then we'll be running the roads. Going by their experiences, it'll be about 6 weeks after that before I'll be considered trained enough to join my husband in our rig.

The irony in my current location for orientation, is that this town is where I tried going to college many moons ago. Just one bump in the road back then, but I think it's all worked out for the best. I'm probably about a fifteen minute drive from the college, but I don't think I'll give it a visit. It wasn't a wasted experience by any means, even if I didn't complete a degree. Came out with some pretty awesome friends.

I am excited and nervous about this new start. So much so I had trouble sleeping last night! I don't think I'll have too much trouble with that tonight. I'm exhausted. (I say that now lol)

Mr. Janney is enjoying himself as he goes through his own training, so we're both pretty optimistic that this venture is going to be successful. He's presently in Texas headed to L.A. before heading back to Pittsburgh. It'll be quite the temperature change.

For now, I'm going to sign off and think about winding down for the night. Maybe write a few sentences in my story.

Stay safe everyone/