What's in Front of You by Robin Janney

I don't know why I try to take pictures while riding in a vehicle. I mean, it's not even a 50/50 chance of getting a good shot. But I insist on trying anyway.

This photo was taken last Wednesday as we were returning home after all our appointments. I like water pics, and the river was so icy and cold looking, I tried even though I could see the cellphone was having trouble focusing. I thought I had it and pressed the screen, only to have the focus shift at the last second. I almost deleted the picture in frustration, but decided not to. Because I think it's a cool picture anyway. The background is all out of focus, but what is in focus are the water droplets right in front of me.

When my anxiety is high, I can't focus on anything. I can't get my ducks in a row because they're bouncing around like balls in a pinball game. All of them, all at once. It's frustrating, and only makes the anxiety worse.

Since I am unwilling to add one more medication to my long list of meds that I already take, I find myself resorting to other methods to try and corral those bouncing balls. The one thing I've found that is free (wine costs money, you know) is something called Mindful Meditation.

I'm not even sure if I'm doing it 'right', but it's enough to help. All I do, is force myself to focus on what is in front of me. There were times in the past, at previous jobs, where my insides where bouncing around so bad that I had my mind walk myself through the steps of my task at hand. It was enough to get me through the shift and usually the anxiety had passed. Until the next day, but that was probably because I was tired of working in the cold and a lot of the anxiety I was experiencing stemmed from that fact.

I have tried the traditional methods of meditating and praying. I've even tried yoga. Anything that puts me down on the floor, puts me on the same level as my dog and Jaclyn never fails to let me know it. I love her, but the best way she helps me with  my anxiety is to snuggle in my lap...her being in my face is just not as cute. Aside from snuggling with the 8-year-old pup, focusing on the moment and the next thing to do is what I have found to work best for myself. Do you struggle with anxiety? If so, how do you deal with it?

Speaking on 'the next thing to do', since I now have water back (idk if it was frozen or what) the next thing to do is switch the dishes around and do a load. Or take a shower. I'll flip a coin. I've tried taking a shower while the dishwasher runs...it turns out to be very chilly!!

Until next time, leave a comment if you'd like.

(I'm going to send this post over at A Novel Idea too.)

Long Time, No See!

Robin Janney – Author sent me a plea this past week: “Would you be willing to start posting on Broads again?” I reluctantly said I’d try. Perhaps this will be the start of us taking turns posting weekly blogs. Who knows? At any rate, here I am. I even told Robin I didn’t know what to blog about and she suggested I should start with my recent stint at detoxing from social media. Okay.

Can't we all just get along?
Photo from Google Images

Self-admittedly, I am a Facebook addict. As a stay-at-home-mom/writer(or non-writer)/photographer/volunteer, I have a lot of down time or, as reality set in, lazy time. This became vividly clear when I consulted the time monitoring tool Facebook has within your settings. During the week of January 6^th, I had averaged a little over six hours a day on Facebook. Six Hours! It was startling. With this revelation also came the realization that my time on social media wasn’t really enjoyable anymore. Don’t get me wrong. I loved keeping in touch with friends and relatives; seeing pics and having virtual visits. What I wasn’t enjoying was the arguing and ugliness that has come to a head since the 2016 political campaigns kicked into gear in 2015. Mind you, civility has been on a general decline since the inception of social media, but this past election cycle certainly made it hit a crescendo. Some of the most innocent posts could be made and someone on your friends list would snap and attack—off topic and relentless. Never mind the posts of those belonging to a polar opposite ideological nature. Some of the comments I read on friend's or relative’s posts were outright hostile—vile even. Civility is gone. No longer is polite debate used. “Your statement is dumb. You’re dumb. Everyone who thinks like you is dumb. I hope something miserable happens to you so you realize this.” Ugh. I see a person’s Facebook page as their own space for expressing themselves. It’s personal. If they post something you don’t like, scroll by. Or unfollow. Or unfriend. Hell, block them if you feel so strongly. Simple. Instead, some use this as an opportunity to attack. I was often left wondering why some of these people were even friends. Seriously. It boggles the mind. So it is simple, if you can’t be civil, be gone. Think of your Facebook wall as your personal living room, so to speak. Would you allow this same person to come into your home, sit in your living room, and speak to you in that same manner? I sincerely hope your answer is no. Likewise, I would hope you don’t make a practice of entering a friend’s or relative’s home and committing this same act. It’s uncivil. It’s nasty. It’s upsetting. Who needs the stress? Don’t get me started on public account posts like a news station or public figure. I found my blood pressure rising as I read comments. Again, FRIENDLY debate is one thing, attacking is another. I don’t need that in my life. 

Because there is always a heckler who will disagree.
Photo from Google Images

My detox began a week ago today. I researched how to save my photos and videos from my Facebook account because I really didn’t want to lose them. The social media company has a way to convert your property to an HTML file and can be uploaded to the device of your choice. The whole process, including saving to my laptop, took less than an hour. At that point, I opted to start with deactivating my Facebook account. Mind you, my Messenger app is still working. Deleting my account may come later. Right now, I don’t want to do anything permanent. As an independent author, I used social media to market my eBooks. In fact, social media SOLD my eBooks.  

With my newfound “free time”, I have been able to do many projects around the house that I have been putting off for fear of missing my social media time. I have many more projects to do. It’s amazing how much one can accomplish in a day when they aren’t wasting time scrolling. I also got back into a healthier lifestyle routine again after a three year break. I have almost gained back all of the weight I had lost from 2012 through 2015. (A lot of that from stress eating and inactivity that came after my youngest daughter’s brain lesion discovery and the numerous opinions, follow-up appointments, and general stress that comes with such a diagnosis. As of May 2018, the lesion is still stable and unchanged.) I’m counting calories, eating healthier, and resumed daily exercise through walking at a pace of 3mph. I walked 20.34 miles over six days. It is uncanny how quickly your general outlook changes just from leaving social media. My mood is more positive. I have more energy AND I’m getting shit done. I am starting to feel more optimistic about my writing projects and hope to return to a regular writing schedule. I think one more week, as the social media toxins leave my psyche, and my creative side should return.

I hope all of our Broads of a Feather readers have been well and are ready for Team Robin Janney – Author and C.P. Stringham – Author to blog with regularity once again!

The Road Goes Ever On and On by Robin Janney

The road goes ever on and on...

And sometimes there's road construction, detours, and unexplained delays!

Well, the good news first! Mr. Janney has successfully passed his CDL road test. The bad news to that is: I didn't and I have to start the process over! He gets to "Pass Go and collect $200" and I don't! Such is life, I guess.

I am disappointed in myself for failing, because I know this is something I can do. All my instructors at school agree with me. Some of it has been nerves, and some of this last failure is because I was just out of practice driving the big rig. I wasn't able to afford a refresher drive before this last test. Even though I drove part of the way down to the test sight, it just wasn't enough. But part of the reason why we fail is so we can learn from our mistakes.

But I am tickled pink that Mr. Janney has passed! I'm proud of him. This was his idea in the first place, something we'd talked about on and off for a while. We tried a year ago to apply to a truck driving school, but it didn't work out. By then the die was cast because he'd already quit his job. So we fell to Plan B. We'd continue as is until my surgeries were out of the way and try again. One thing led to another which in turn led us to the school we attended together and a job together.

Obviously, we won't be starting at the same time. But we were both talking with the recruiter last night and it won't be a problem. Mr. Janney will be through his training and running solo until I can join him, simple as that. It's not what we had planned, not even for Plan B...but sometimes in life you have to go through the entire alphabet to find what works! You just have to keep trying and not give up.

Easier said than done sometimes, I know. You know I know.

I'm a little anxious, but then I'd have been that way even if I'd passed and we were starting at the same time! I'll just use the late start to my part of the adventure to wind up my editing and reworking of my first two novels and continue to work book three. I know it's been forever for my fans, but it was the decision to make these changes which unlocked my writer's block and enabled me to work on book three again.

Though I can't see what's beyond the curve,
 I know the best thing is to keep on going.

As anxious as I am, I'm also excited. Because even though it's just one of us who's passed, we're still in this together. We're one step closer than we were before. I will take you all on this life's trip as much as possible. It's what I do, and why I have no problem posting about my failure and down times online. You get the good, the bad and everything in-between when I write here. Any silences are when I'm trying to process the bad and the down times...the only thing I can do. I hope you'll all stay with me on this journey.

Until next time, much love.