Life is about perspectives. Moments
when you stop whatever it is that you are doing, and take time to look around and
savor each little nuance. These nuances are the things you would normally take
for granted because you’re always in a hurry or too preoccupied by something
else to notice. Sights. Sounds. Smells. Time to examine your own feelings due
to that moment. Contentment. When’s
the last time you’ve recognized your own contentment? We take so much for
granted because we are so focused on getting a chore, a workday, a workweek
over with or even wishing away time to bring a big event, like a vacation or
holiday, closer.
Lto R: Ryan's key fobs; the grub tables; organizers thank you board. |
Perspective
#1: Even when life has handed you a scary diagnosis, saddle up and ride anyway.
L to R: Abby sporting her bikini while posing with Carolyn; Carolyn and Sean who isn't afraid to wear pink in support of his mother's battle; Carolyn and Houston waiting "in the hole." |
We spent the majority of our time
walking around and visiting with people. Renee and Harold Nichols were there as
event supporters with their mobile tack shop. Patty Minard and
her daughter, Abby, were there. Abby was a competitor. Like Carolyn, Patty and
Renee each know a little something, first hand, about cancer. Patty had stage IV
Metatastic Melanoma and Renee had lymphoma in the recent past. Patty now tours
the country as a guest speaker for Bristol-Myers Sqibb to help promote the drug,
Yervoy, that she and her team of specialist credit for saving her life. She told me, “This is the second time I’ve
battled melanoma. The first time I was diagnosed with stage II.” Patty is very
upfront while discussing what she and others like her go through from diagnosis
to battle and the hardships one faces. Finances are always hard to manage. We
even talked about how hard it is when friends step away from you because of the
illness. Some are afraid and don’t know what to say. “Others act as if they are
afraid to hug you for fear of catching it. Like you’re contagious or
something," she said. While she talked, it gave me time to think about what I’d do in
Patty’s place. Abby is close to my oldest daughter’s age. Like Syd, Abby loves
horses. What is it like to be going
through the horrors of cancer and being filled with the constant worry of not
being around for your children? Or seeing them reach adulthood and all that it
has to offer? My time spent talking with these wonderful, strong ladies
reminded me of how precious life is. Each year, each month, each day we get to
spend with our loved ones truly is a gift that many of us take for granted.
Carolyn, Patty, and Renee like to point this out to everyone. Don’t waste time.
Perspective
#2: Live life, appreciate everything, and love deeply.
L to R: Harold and Renee Nichols of Nichols' Saddlery; Patty and Abby; Merideth and Brittany who each competed. |
Monte going pink for Carolyn. What a great sport!! Photo by Lea Halderman |
While the reason for the event was
serious, spectators and competitors kept the mood light. There was horse talk,
naturally. Stories of past events. A stray raindrop fell from time to time, but
nothing ever became of it. Everyone just settled in, rain or shine, for the
day. As the start time approached, laughter and cheers could be heard as Monte
Nicholas, tough cowboy and co-owner of Rockin’ N, held the American flag for
the playing of the Star Spangled Banner
while seated on his trusty gelding, Gus. This may sound perfectly normal, only
Monte had shed his red western shirt and Carhart vest for a bright pink
bikini top accessorized, of course, with his black Stetson, Wrangler’s, and
cowboy boots. All to show his support for Carolyn and Breast Cancer Awareness.
I’d never seen anything like it. Most men would run the other way at the mere
mention of it. Not Monte. He put a smile on his face and graciously galloped
into the indoor arena, flag waving to our national anthem, as multiple cameras
and cell phones came out and his bikini-wearing ride was recorded for various
social media pages. It was all for Carolyn.
Perspective
#3: Real men will wear pink to show their support for the great women in their life.
L to R: Family dining in pink; Carolyn's son, Sean, and my daughter, Sydney; It's all about pink accessories. |
As the competition started, it was fun
watching each horse and rider prepare for their go as they waited in the hole.
Most horses were adorned in pink. One of Rockin’ N’s students was using a
stencil to paint pink ribbons on horses. Pink feather boas were wrapped around
breast collars and streaks of pink were added to manes and tails. A few female
riders braved the cold day to don bikini tops. Young and old, fast and slow
participated. All of their entry fees went to support Carolyn. One of the most
enthusiastic competitors was Ryan. In his early twenties, he is a special needs individual who reminded me a lot of my youngest daughter, Mackenzie. Ryan, in addition to competing in the gaming events, made and donated beaded key fobs to sell to those in attendance with all the proceeds going to Carolyn. He was there with his mom, Robin, and his horse, Dealer. Together, he and his older bay gelding made quite the impressive team. At the end of his last ride, Ryan whipped his cowboy hat off and let out with a loud yeehaw! It brought tears to my eyes. Happy tears. Earlier, I'd had a chance to speak with Ryan and he told me all about his new apartment, his roommate, and his girlfriend. I loved hearing how he was leading his own, independent life. It gave me hope for Mackenzie's future.
L to R: My buddy, Ryan, removing his cowboy hat for the national anthem; Dealer and Ryan after their first go; A hardy yeehaw for a job well done. |
When events
were done and times consulted, placings were announced. Carolyn, her husband,
Ron, and their two sons, Sean and Seth, gathered in the center of the indoor
arena as competitors and organizers formed around them for pictures. I always
love those Kodak moments. Lou, our master of ceremonies, had the first place
winners, from each event, line up together before being sent on a mad dash for
the donated prize table items. Many of which were horse-related goodies! What
better trinket to take away for horse owners than horse-related goodies? Each
subsequent placings were treated to the same dash to the prize table.
Perspective
#4: Life’s ultimate prize is the feeling of accomplishment one receives from
being a part of something that helps someone else.
L to R: Jenna Orcutt and her dog, Montana sporting the pink; donated prize table; Tammy selling Breast Cancer Awareness clothing. |
The lunch break was announced and
everyone dug in to all of the wonderful food that was brought in as a dish to
pass. Monte grilled burgers and hot dogs and multiple tables were filled with crock
pots set on warm, picnic salads, chips, and baked goods. (God bless the person
who brought the tray of Almond Joy cookie bars!) I’ve said it before and I’ll
say it again: horse community folks know how to picnic! I contributed a big
container of cowboy caviar and tortilla chips. I thought my choice was apropos.
Perspective
#5: Breaking bread with friends feeds the soul.
After lunch, competitors could try
their hand at the trail challenge. Carolyn’s specialty. An obstacle course was
set up inside the indoor arena to test the skills of each horse and rider. Not
only was there a maximum time limit of five minutes set for the challenge, but Christina Wilson-Thomas
served as judge. It was her job to ensure contestants completed each trail
challenge task and followed the rules. Ron told my husband and me that Carolyn
loves to watch this type of event because it really tests the abilities of both
horse and rider and shows the partnership between them. Carolyn and Reno were
the first to go---and show everyone how it is done. It didn’t matter how quick
contestants were or how many of the obstacles they conquered, every spectator
joined in to cheer them on.
Perspective
#6: Life is full of challenges and we can either chose to give up or meet them
head on. Horse people choose to meet them head on.
L to R: Mosher Strong with Seth, Carolyn, Ron, and Sean; My favorite pic of the day as Ron wraps his arms around Carolyn; Trail Judge Christine, Organizer Hilary, Carolyn, and Organizer Jean. |
When I got home from Barrels & Bikinis, I
uploaded my pictures to Facebook. I couldn’t help but smile at the memories
made—and as a family with our horse community family. Even though the weather
managed to keep some folks at home, the event drew thirty competitors and
raised $1,200.00. As I reflected about the event, this was my Facebook post the
following day:
Those
of you who've known me for a long time, know I've never been much of a hugger.
In fact, with some of you, I've kindly reminded you about my personal space
bubble. Even gave you a visual of the 18" zone around me that was "my
space." Okay. Maybe not so kindly. I've never been good at offering
consolation to others. Pats on the back and gentle there-theres. I don't know
why, but every time one of my college or high school employees at Wilson's
Leather broke up with a boyfriend/girlfriend or had a loved one pass away, they
were working with me when it happened. I was a fish out of water. I guess God
has a sense of humor and likes putting us in places where we need the most
work. My Divine on-the-job experiences were in empathy and kindness. Having
children helped speed up my experiences. At the end of Barrels & Bikinis
yesterday, I found myself seeking out our friends to say goodbye and I offered
hugs first. It comes so naturally now that I don't think anything of it. I was
around three fantastic ladies, each in various stages of fighting cancer, and
they were perfect examples of living life for the moment while appreciating
everything and everyone. Thanks for the great talk yesterday, Patty
Minard.
The look of contentment: Carolyn and Reno. Photo by Patty Minard |
At one point, during the event, I
looked over at Carolyn. She was sitting astride Reno, elbow on her saddle horn,
leaning forward to rest her chin on her hand, and she was smiling. Smiling.
Even though she’d had a rough week (learned she’d lost her job and suffered a minor
injury to her breastbone on top of the normal day to day grind with battling
cancer,) Carolyn was the picture of contentment. Because of everything she’s
been through, she has learned to savor each moment, taking it all in, and be
grateful for the opportunity—a lesson we all need to learn.